Jokes

[cobra de capell]

MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED
(Research done by the AARP Legal Department)


Q. What does HMO stand for?

A. This is actually a variation of the phrase , "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a
concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient
could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.


Q. I just joined an Arizona HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you
with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two
categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see
you but are no longer participating in the plan . But don't worry, the remaining doctor
who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just 2 day's drive away
somewhere in northern New Mexico.


Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

A. No. Only those you need.


Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.


Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.


Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand.
I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?

A. Poke yourself in the eye.


Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

A. You really shouldn't do that.


Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem.
Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?

A. Hard to say, but, considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's
no harm in giving it a shot .


Q. Will health care be different in the next decade?

A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.