Jokes

[cobra de capell]

If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Sarah Palin" in the subject line, do not open it. It might contain a deadly virus.

If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton" in the subject line, do not open it. It might contain nude photos of Hillary Clinton.
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Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.

They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.

The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight.

They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.

The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.

"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.

"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.

"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After the examination, the doctor mixed up a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Obama, and told him to drink it all.

Obama drank the concoction and replied, " That tasted like bull****!"

The doctor replied "It was, you were a quart low"
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Lost Wallet

A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, lo and behold, he lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home, but was stopped by the Customs Agent at the Tijuana border.

'May I see your ID.? Por favor, senor?' asked the agent.

'I'm sorry, but I seem to have lost my wallet,' replied the guy.

'Si, amigo, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border ,' said the agent.

'But I can prove that I'm an American!' he exclaimed. 'I have a picture of Bill Clinton tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of Hillary Clinton tattooed on the other."

'This I got to see, senor,' replied the agent.

With that, he dropped his pants & bent over in front of the agent. 'By golly, you're right!' exclaimed the agent. 'Have fun in Chicago.'

'Thanks!' he said. 'But how did you know I was from Chicago?'

The agent replied, 'I recognized Barack Obama in the middle!'
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Pappa Mole, Mamma Mole and Baby Mole all lived in a Mole Hole. One day Pappa Mole stuck his head out of the hole and said "mmmm, I smell maple syrup". Mama Mole joined him and stuck her head out the hole and said "mmmm, I smell honey". Baby Mole wanted to join them, but Mamma and Pappa had the hole filled and he couldn't get up there to stick his head out. Baby Mole said "hum, all I smell is molasses"