Jokes

[Tangible Toys]

"Sometime this year, it's possible that taxpayers
will receive an additional Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will explain using

the Q and A format:



"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus
Payment?*

"A. It is money that the federal
government will send to taxpayers.



"Q. Where will the government get
this money?*

"A. From taxpayers.



"Q. So the government is giving
me back my own money?*

"A. No, they are borrowing it
from China. Your children are

expected to repay the Chinese.



"Q. What is the purpose of this
payment?*

"A. The plan is that you will use
the money to purchase a

high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the
economy.



"Q. But isn't that stimulating
the economy of China?*

"A. Shut up."




Below is some helpful advice on
how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check
wisely:



If you spend that money at
Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.



If you spend it on gasoline, it
will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda.



If you purchase a computer, it
will go to Taiwan.



If you purchase fruit and
vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy
organic).



If you buy a car, it will go to
Japan and Korea.



If you purchase prescription
drugs, it will go to India




If you purchase heroin, it will
go to the Taliban in Afghanistan




If you give it to a charitable
cause, it will go to Nigeria.



And none of it will help the
American economy.



We need to keep that money here
in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales,
going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY),
or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the
US.*



~ .\|/. ~

<(���)>

Keep Smilin'

(Hmmm, skip the Bud Weiser unless you want to help Germans.)