Jokes

[cobra de capell]

So I said to my wife “what would you do if we won the lottery”?

“I’d take half of it and leave you”, she said.

“Well, I won ten bucks today; here’s your five; now f##k off!” I replied..

..And then the fight started.......
_____

‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’

Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, ‘honey, what do you think the

neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’

‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied

And that’s when the fight started.......

_____

My wife was filling out a questionnaire from the gynecologist.

She said, “I need YOUR help with this question. Does it hurt YOU when we have sex?”

I said, “Only if the light’s on.”

And that’s when the fight started.......
_____

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?” “I would love to.” Replied the husband. “But I don’t know her well enough.”.....

And then the fight started......
_____

Joan Rivers said that one night she cuddled up to her husband and asked him to “talk dirty to me”.

He said, “The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room . . .”

And then . . .
_____

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn’t buy her anything.

When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the one I got you last year!”

And that’s when the fight started.....
____

asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....