Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston

After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.

They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.

He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00!

When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard

rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

‘But we didn't use them,’ the man complains. ‘Well, they are here, and you could have,’ Explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. ‘The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,’ the Manager says.

‘But we didn't go to any of those shows, ‘complains the man again.

‘Well, we have them, and you could have,’ the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, ‘But we didn't use it!’

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. ‘But sir,’ he says, this check is only made out for $50.00.’

‘That's correct,’ says the man. ‘I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife.’

‘But I didn't!’ exclaims the Manager.

‘Well, too bad,’ the man replies. ‘She was here and you could have.’
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BEST IDEA I HAVE HEARD IN LONG, LONG TIME!!!

Members of Congress should be compelled to wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.
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Scene: Waiting room at hospital.
Doctor: Well, Mr. Greboflatz, there is good news and bad news.

Patient: What's the bad news?

Doctor: You have previously unknown condition. It is rapidly progressing and progressively debilitating. You'll be gone in just a few weeks. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do — we've never seen this disease before. Nobody has ever seen this before.

Patient: Wh-what’s the good news?

Doctor: We're naming it after you!
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Judy is confiding to a friend, "I fall in love really quickly and this
scares guys away. I'm like, 'I'm in love with you, I want to marry you,
I want to move in with you! I want to bear your kids!'

They usually reply with such unromantic stuff like, 'Ma'am, just give me
the ten bucks for the pizza and I'm outta here.'"