Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).
He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk. When he grabs a tit and pulls...the cow farts. Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again.
He grabs another tit, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow.
When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her tit, and see vat happens.'
Sven reaches under, pulls the tit...the cow farts.
Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota, didn't yah?'
Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.
Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?'
Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota too.'
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Down Home Arab Holistic Medicine...............
Ahkmed the Arab came to America from the Middle East and he was only here a few months when he became ill.
He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.
Finally, he went to an Arab doctor who said: "Take dees bocket, go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and deen put your head down over de bocket ahn breathe in de fumes for teen meenites."
Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, and bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes.
Coming back to the doctor, he said, "It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?"
The doctor said, "You were homesick."
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ENLIGHTENED!
I became confused when I heard these terms with reference to the word 'Service'.
Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service '
Telephone 'Service'
Cable 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
Customer 'Service'
State, City & County Public 'Service'
This is not what I thought 'service' meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few cows. BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us.
I hope you are as enlightened as I am.
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Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm..
The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: “Nice pigs, Sir.”
The President replies: “These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.”
The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: “Excellent trade, sir.”
Semper Fi
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