Jokes

[cobra de capell]

The Moles
A mama mole, a papa mole and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.
One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air
and says, .
"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,
"Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,
but
can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says,
"Geez, all I can smell is...


Scroll down...


Get ready...


You may never forgive me for this one...


MOLASSES!"
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WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.

"Dead." She was informed.

"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
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When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said,

"Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy"

"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
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A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a b*tch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a b*tch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how our teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b*tch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
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One day a teacher read the story Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is
falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Sh!t! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes!
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The first old woman told the second old woman that sometimes she gets her husband excited at night by getting totally naked, lying in bed and putting both legs behind her head, yoga style. The second old woman thought that this was a great idea, so that night when her husband went in the bathroom to get ready for bed, she got totally naked and began the process of putting her legs behind her head.

The first leg was kind of tough to put in place as she was a bit arthritic. However, she finally got it in place She had an even tougher time with the second leg, so she rocked herself backwards until she finally got it behind her head.

However, she had rocked just a little too hard so that she flipped slightly backwards and got stuck with her butt sticking straight up in the air. It was just then that her husband came out of the bathroom.

"Gladys!" he exclaimed. "For heavens sake, comb your hair and put your teeth in .... You look like an a##hole.
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