Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Famous Last Words

I'll get a world record for this.

Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.

Hey, there are no handles inside these car doors!

Gee, that's a cute tattoo.

It's fireproof.

He's probably just hibernating.

What does this button do?

So, you're a cannibal.

It's probably just a rash.

Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?

Are you sure the power is off?

Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

These are the good kind of mushrooms.

I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

You look just like Charles Manson.

Let it down slowly.

Hand me a fork, the toaster is jammed again.

I can make this light before it changes.

Nice doggie.

You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?

Watch this.

This planet has an atmosphere just like on earth.

That birthmark on you head looks just like a 666.

What duck?
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12 inches was too long so I had it shortened to 6

I was embarrassed by the excessive length sticking out. At the beach, women would stare and snicker as it dangled from side to side as I walked. Men would avert their gaze to avoid eye contact. In public restrooms I even worried that it might touch the floor by accident.

Finally I tied it in a knot and cut the excess off.

I don't know why sneaker manufacturers insist on using shoelaces that extend so far beyond the top eyelet.
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The fourth and fifth graders went on a field trip to the local race track accompanied by their lady teachers.

During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the restroom so it was decided that the girls would go with the 5th grade teacher. And the 4th grade teacher took the boys and waited outside the men's bathroom.

One of the boys came out and told her he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside and began hoisting all the little boys up by their armpits as they did their business.

Though not purposely, while lifting one little boy, she couldn't help but notice that he was particularly well endowed.

"I guess you must be in the fifth," she said.

"No ma'am," he said "I'm in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow. Thanks for the lift."
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Pay back is hell!

Well folks it has finally happened. The blondes of the world got together and to take revenge on the brunettes. Here's their revenge:

WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

WHAT DO YOU CALL GOING ON A BLIND DATE WITH A BRUNETTE? Brown-bagging it.

WHAT'S THE REAL REASON A BRUNETTE KEEPS HER FIGURE? No one else wants it.

WHY ARE SO MANY BLONDE JOKES ONE-LINERS ? So brunettes can remember them.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BRUNETTE IN A ROOM FULL OF BLONDES? Invisible.

WHAT'S A BRUNETTE'S MATING CALL? "Has the blonde left yet? "

WHY DIDN'T INDIANS SCALP BRUNETTES? The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

WHY IS THE BRUNETTE CONSIDERED AN EVIL COLOR? When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

WHAT DO BRUNETTES MISS MOST ABOUT A GREAT PARTY? The invitation

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GOOD LOOKING MAN WITH A BRUNETTE? A hostage

WHO MAKES BRAS FOR BRUNETTES? Fisher-Price

WHY ARE BRUNETTES SO PROUD OF THEIR HAIR? It matches their mustache
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