Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
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Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control
your anger?

Wife says: I clean the toilet.

Husband says: How does that help?

Wife says: I use your Toothbrush.....
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A mom asks her little girl what she would like for her birthday.

The little girl says,"I want a Barbie and a G.I.Joe".

The mom says,"honey, I think you're confused. Barbie comes with Ken, not G.I.Joe".

Little girl replies,"No mommy, Barbie comes with G.I.Joe, she just fakes it with Ken".
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This flash news report just in from the AP wire...........


Lexington, KY -
The Lexington Police Department reports finding a man's body in the Kentucky river just west of the Clays Ferry Bridge.
The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on dildo, and an Obama t-shirt.
He also had a cucumber stuffed up his rectum.
Police removed the Obama t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
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Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

In sheer panic he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

The doctor arrived immediately.

After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction, and instantly feeling better he declared "That tasted like ****!"

The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low.'