Jokes

[Ron61]

Editor: More in-flight announcements as reported by passengers and airline crew
members.

1."In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the
ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have
a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with
theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your
favorite."

2. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll
try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves
you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

3. A plane was taking off from Kennedy International Airport in New York. After
it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain announced over the
intercom,"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to
Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is
good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit
back and relax... OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the
intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you
earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled
a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

[Dan40]

Originally Posted by Ron61

Editor: More in-flight announcements as reported by passengers and airline crew
members.

1."In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the
ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have
a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with
theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your
favorite."

2. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll
try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves
you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

3. A plane was taking off from Kennedy International Airport in New York. After
it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain announced over the
intercom,"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to
Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is
good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit
back and relax... OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the
intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you
earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled
a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

You left out the famous PanAM into Vietnam announcement.
"Weather at our destination is HOT and muggy, with scattered clouds. The temperature is 96 degrees and the humidity is 85%. Wind is from the east a 5 mph and ground fire is light to moderate!