Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Great Golf quotes.....

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit
it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead


A hungry dog hunts best.
~ Lee Trevino


You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen..
~ Lee Trevino


I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a
swimming pool.
~ George Brett


Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a
tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that..
~ Jim Murray


The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has
to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle


Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good
at them.
~ Kevin Costner


I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez


After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the
American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge
and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye..
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez


The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis


Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino


My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The
rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson


Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep
the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny


There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different
games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan


Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time,
you're the best.

~ Jack Nicklaus


The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a
law.
~ H G Wells


I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers
everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham


If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If
you work at it, it's golf.
~ Bob Hope


While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henry Youngman


If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong
golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon


You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of
them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino


I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd
come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino