Jokes

[cobra de capell]

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, "Quick pour me twelve drinks."

So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, "Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast."

The guys says, "Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I"ve got."

The bartender says, "What've you got?"

"75 cents."
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A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.

The boy says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"

Grandpa replies simply, "Nope."

The boy continues, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?"

"A wedding ring."
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A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear; "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."

That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax for thumbtacks. In a business like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom; "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
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How come blondes doesn't talk during sex?

Cuz, they're not suppose to talk to strangers.
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