Murphy’s Other Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong, a tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those whom live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
13. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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1) What does the average Univ. of Michigan player get on his SATs?
.........Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
..........A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?
.........Grease her hips and push.
(4) How do you get a Florida State graduate off your porch?
..........Pay him for the pizza.
(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?!
.........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.
(6) Why is the Indiana football team like a possum?
........Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of a Miami (Fla) football player’s life?
..........His freshman year
(8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it! take to change a light bulb?
..........None. That’s a sophomore course.
(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
......... Durham, North Carolina. He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.
AND FINALLY.....drum roll and cymbal crash.......
(10) Why did Texas choose orange as their team color?
.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
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