10-16-2008, 04:31 AM
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Beam Me Up Scottie
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Squantum (part of Quincy),
MA
Cobra Make, Engine: SPF1049 Titanium w/black stripes, 351W with Trick Flow Heads, Tremec 3550
Posts: 7,592
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Not Ranked
New Stock Market Terms
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
CEO--Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO--Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET-- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut-house.
PROFIT -- An archaic term no longer in use.
__________________
Warren
'Liberals are maggots upon the life of this planet and need to get off at the next rotation.' (Jamo 2008)
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