'Way Too True

[Karl Bebout]

ONLY IN AMERICA...
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... MUST WE SPEND BILLIONS BECAUSE WE CAN'T LET CHRYSLER
>> GO BANKRUPT, AND THEN, LET CHRYSLER GO BANKRUPT.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... CAN CONGRESS FORCE FANNIE AND FREDDIE TO BUY
>> SUBPRIME LOANS, AND THEN BLAME FANNIE AND FREDDIE FOR BUYING SUBPRIME
>> LOANS.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... YOU CAN BE LEGALLY ILLEGAL.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... THE CONGRESS MAKE LAWS THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO
>> FOLLOW.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... WHERE YOUR VICE PRESIDENT DECLARES 'JOBS' A
>> THREE-LETTER WORD.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... A MAJOR CRISIS REQUIRES SWIFT ACTION TO PASS A BILL
>> WITHOUT READING IT, THEN VACATION FOR THREE DAYS BEFORE THE PRESIDENT
>> HAS TIME TO SIGN IT!
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... DOES THE MILITARY GET INVESTIGATED BY HOMELAND
>> SECURITY AS POSSIBLE TERRORISTS, WHILE OUR BORDERS ARE WIDE OPEN.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... CAN YOU GET A TAX REFUND ON TAXES YOU DIDN'T PAY.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... CAN YOU BLAME OTHERS WHEN YOU DON'T PERFORM.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... YOU HAVE MORE RIGHTS BEING ILLEGAL, THAN YOU DO
>> LEGAL.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... CAN YOU BE 13 AND HAVE AN ABORTION WITHOUT TELLING
>> YOUR PARENTS, BUT MUST HAVE A WRITTEN NOTE FROM YOUR PARENT WHY YOU
>> MISSED SCHOOL.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... ARE YOU PUNISHED FOR GOOD PERFORMANCE AND REVERED
>> FOR NONPERFORMANCE.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... CAN YOU CALL LARGE CORPORATIONS EVIL, WHILE 99.9% OF
>> THE AMERICANS WORK IN COMPANIES WITH LESS THAN 500 EMPLOYEES.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... CAN CHRYSLER GET $10 BILLION IN AID FOR THEIR
>> COMPANY OF 30,000 EMPLOYEES. I GUESS IT IS DIFFICULT TO RUN A COMPANY
>> FOR $333,333 PER EMPLOYEE.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... WE CARE ABOUT THREE GUYS THAT GET WATER UP THE NOSE,
>> WHILE OUR ENEMIES ARE BEHEADING US AND BLOWING CROWDS OF PEOPLE UP WITH
>> SUICIDE BOMBINGS.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... YOU CAN SAY OTHER INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES WORK, BUT
>> YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE TECHNIQUES ARE.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... YOU CAN BE PRESIDENT WITHOUT A BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... DO POLITICIANS CONSIDER 'WE THE PEOPLE' ASTRO-TURF.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... WHATEVER GOES WRONG WILL ALWAYS BE BUSH'S FAULT.
>>
>> ONLY IN AMERICA... YOU CAN ONLY BE PRESIDENT WHEN THE TELEPROMPTER IS
>> ON!
>>
>> -------------------------------------------
>>
>> If you don't understand the New Congress version of tax refunds, maybe
>> this will help explain it:
>>
>> Fifty thousand people went to a baseball game, but the game was rained
>> out. A refund was then due.
>>
>> The team was about to mail refunds when a group of Congressional
>> Democrats stopped them and suggested that they send out the ticket
>> refunds based on the Democrat National Committee's interpretation of
>> fairness.
>>
>> Originally the refunds were to be paid based on the price each person
>> had paid for the tickets. Unfortunately, that meant most of the refund
>> money would be going to the ticket holders who had purchased the most
>> expensive tickets. This, according to the DNC, is considered totally
>> unfair. A decision was then made to pay out the refunds in this manner:
>>
>> People in the $10 seats will get back $15. After all, they have less
>> money to spend on tickets to begin with. Call it an "Earned Income
>> Ticket Credit." Persons "earn" it by having few skills, poor work
>> habits, and low ambition, thus keeping them at entry-level wages.
>>
>> People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because it "seems fair."
>> People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a
>> lot of money and don't need a refund. After all, if they can afford a
>> $50 ticket, they must not be paying enough taxes.
>>
>> People in the $75 luxury box seats will each have to pay an additional
>> $25 because it's the "right thing to do."
>>
>> People walking past the stadium that couldn't afford to buy a ticket for
>> the game each will get a $10 refund, even though they didn't pay
>> anything for the tickets. They need the most help. Sometimes this is
>> known as Affirmative Action.
>>
>> Now do you understand?
>>
>> If not, contact Representative Nancy Pelosi or Senator Harry Reid for
>> assistance.