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What to say if you get pulled over for speeding
Turned on Comedy Central last night and a comedian was talking about pleading tempory insanity. He said it doesn't quite work for speeding. If a police officer pulls you over you could say " I was cruising at the posted speed limit and all of a sudden I just went crazy, thanks for stopping me." I would love to see the look on the officers face!
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My brakes have failed and I wanted to get home before I had an accident.
It's always a good idea to ask the officer if you can have a look at his gun too. When he asks why "I just wanted to see if mine was bigger" |
Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your car in my mirror, I thought you were that officer and were trying to give her back to me…
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Good one. I must try it next time I get pulled over.
Here's a line that didn't work at all for me when I got pulled over last fall. "But officer, I have a bouncing Smiths speedo." Even though it's true, he wasn't having any of that. And then the young cop called me "old" in the nicest way I've ever heard. He asked me how fast I thought I was travelling, to which I replied "70 km/h" ;-). So he says, "Sir, you've been driving a lot longer than I have; surely you know what 70 feels like." I gotta admit, that was pretty good... |
NAWW! Gee officer, I couldn't have been going that fast, my speedo read only 50 mph.
I was going 90?....Oh crap! I was looking at my tach. and didn't realize my speed, these damm little English cars are tricky with backward gauges and stuff. I would really appreciate a break, wife won't be able to afford going to the mall if I get an expensive ticket. Sign here. Yes sir. :eek: |
"You got me fair and square":rolleyes:
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"I'll run you double or nothing!"
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always carry donuts
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"Sorry Officer but I needed the wind rushing against my face to sober me up!" :JEKYLHYDE
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Quote:
Ron :LOL: :LOL: |
"90!!!!!!!! No way...I was still in second gear!!!!":cool:
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Those pranksters in the CT truck with the orange vests must have changed the speed limit signs again....
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Back when the national speed limit was still 55MPH, I got pulled for doin' 85 in the fast lane of the expressway around Atlanta in 5PM rush-hour traffic, trying to dodge the trucks doin' 75.
I told the trooper, "Officer, you can't drive 55 on this expressway." He said,"Your correct, sir, and you can't drive 85, either." |
Another time I was pulled over the officer said "You know I clocked you back there at 87"
I said "that sounds about right":3DSMILE: I think they appreciate honesty over excuses:) He let me go No tickets yet Been pulled over 3 times |
Quote:
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Here. Could you hold my beer while I sign the ticket?
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LOL AC!
Hey, I have been lucky. If I do get popped, I will consider it just the same as paying a Toll;) Because, A, I likely deserved it and B, I have not had one in almost 20 years..So, my luck is running a little thin:3DSMILE: It does really improve my odds of not getting a ticket when I just smile, act dumb, don't bull****, and just be nice about it. Quote:
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Officer... Look at this beautiful piece of machinery and ask yourself one question. Could YOU drive this at the posted speed?
I actually said that once and the guy laughed and said it was one he had not heard before. Then he told me to "OK I understand but slow down ...dammit or next time I'll give you an early Christmas gift" _____________________ Ferrari Killer Steve Must Sell Right Now |
Yes I can read. The sign said 50 miles per hour ahead. There is two of us in the car. Thats 100 mph.:3DSMILE:
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About 15 years ago I was driving my 1970 Mach 1 with a 351c and auto. I left a stop sign "aggressively" and chirped second gear. Immediately, lights behind me. Demonstration of power, 40 in a 25, and careless driving.
" I just got this car and it has some kind of shift kit in the tranny," I stammered nervously, "I really didn't mean to drive like a crazy person, i'm just not used to the car, yet." "You bought it, you are responsible. Why did you buy a car that you can't handle?" "I've always wanted one of these since high school. It's really a great car and I'm an excellent driver with no violations. I'll master it." I got a warning and some friendly advice to not do that again in his patrol area. Also, told me if I decided to sell it, he would be interested. Car guys, even cops, understand other car guys. |
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