What to say if you get pulled over for speeding

[Snakebit]

Turned on Comedy Central last night and a comedian was talking about pleading tempory insanity. He said it doesn't quite work for speeding. If a police officer pulls you over you could say " I was cruising at the posted speed limit and all of a sudden I just went crazy, thanks for stopping me." I would love to see the look on the officers face!

[Outwest34au]

My brakes have failed and I wanted to get home before I had an accident.

It's always a good idea to ask the officer if you can have a look at his gun too. When he asks why "I just wanted to see if mine was bigger"

[Bill Bess]

NAWW! Gee officer, I couldn't have been going that fast, my speedo read only 50 mph.
I was going 90?....Oh crap! I was looking at my tach. and didn't realize my speed, these damm little English cars are tricky with backward gauges and stuff.

I would really appreciate a break, wife won't be able to afford going to the mall if I get an expensive ticket.
Sign here. Yes sir.

[392cobra]

Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your car in my mirror, I thought you were that officer and were trying to give her back to me…

[mdross1]

Actually out raising a little caine one morning early on one of my favorite roads with lots of twisties,got a little too wound up.When pulling out onto our Main street no traffic, quickly cranked up through the gears,noticed an LEO parked facing me up in the distance,I slowed back to speed limit quickly.As I cruised on by he was waving his finger and mouthing "slow down".Knock on wood, never had a speeding ticket while in a car.

[SunDude]

Good one. I must try it next time I get pulled over.

Here's a line that didn't work at all for me when I got pulled over last fall. "But officer, I have a bouncing Smiths speedo." Even though it's true, he wasn't having any of that.

And then the young cop called me "old" in the nicest way I've ever heard.

He asked me how fast I thought I was travelling, to which I replied "70 km/h" ;-). So he says, "Sir, you've been driving a lot longer than I have; surely you know what 70 feels like."

I gotta admit, that was pretty good...

[JBCOBRA]

"You got me fair and square"

[Mark IV]

"I'll run you double or nothing!"

[scaffold]

always carry donuts

[Ron61]

Originally Posted by scaffold

always carry donuts

Wouldn't it be easier to just carry gift certificates to all of the local doughnut shops? That way they could have them fresh.

Ron

[charles roybal]

"90!!!!!!!! No way...I was still in second gear!!!!"

[Koda]

Originally Posted by Ron61

Wouldn't it be easier to just carry gift certificates to all of the local doughnut shops? That way they could have them fresh.

Ron

Yeah try that one. How about you try NO SIR and YES SIR. Sorry I put YOUR life in danger SIR. (more Cops are killed in car crashes than any other function.) I will be more alert and concerned from here on out.

I would sure hate to be one of the ones who had a LEO killed while he was trying to catch up to me being a selfish speed dork. There is a time and place for every thing.

[StewbieC]

"Sorry Officer but I needed the wind rushing against my face to sober me up!"

[rustyBob]

Those pranksters in the CT truck with the orange vests must have changed the speed limit signs again....

[JBCOBRA]

Another time I was pulled over the officer said "You know I clocked you back there at 87"
I said "that sounds about right"

I think they appreciate honesty over excuses
He let me go

No tickets yet
Been pulled over 3 times

[ACademic]

Originally Posted by JBCOBRA

No tickets yet
Been pulled over 3 times

Congratulations. Now by posting this you just jinxed it.

[redmt]

Here. Could you hold my beer while I sign the ticket?

[JBCOBRA]

LOL AC!
Hey, I have been lucky.
If I do get popped, I will consider it just the same as paying a Toll
Because, A, I likely deserved it and B, I have not had one in almost 20 years..So, my luck is running a little thin

It does really improve my odds of not getting a ticket when I just smile, act dumb, don't bull****, and just be nice about it.

Originally Posted by ACademic

Congratulations. Now by posting this you just jinxed it.

[4RE KLR]

Officer... Look at this beautiful piece of machinery and ask yourself one question. Could YOU drive this at the posted speed?

I actually said that once and the guy laughed and said it was one he had not heard before. Then he told me to "OK I understand but slow down ...dammit or next time I'll give you an early Christmas gift"

_____________________
Ferrari Killer
Steve

Must Sell Right Now

[littlewave]

Yes I can read. The sign said 50 miles per hour ahead. There is two of us in the car. Thats 100 mph.