Attention Hal, Jamo

Fred Douglass · #1 (**permalink**) 02-14-2003, 03:57 PM

Hal,

I'll see you and drop you 8 (degrees). Just pulled in from another seizure of "Juvenalia Demenntia" in Jamo's ex-car. 85 mph in 16 degrees F. The side curtains were too stiff from the Concours truck-ride to put them on the car!.

Jamo.

Than-Kew! Wifey just LOVED it! Oh shyte, bruthah.... I mean this: clean out yer foo-keen pool-house. Tell Buddy to move it on over. Now you'll have the best of both worlds---JANECQA back in your driveway, Uncle Ronnie figuring out Uncle Freddie's post-divorce residue (if any), the Barsamian clan enjoying Beef a la Oh Sh*t, Buddy in therapy, sordid wild-life in the Poo'---what more could you ask?

Jamo · #2 (**permalink**) 02-14-2003, 05:01 PM

OK--you're most welcome.

Now just what in the phuck did you say?

Fred Douglass · #3 (**permalink**) 02-14-2003, 08:23 PM

Translation: Wind-chill at even moderate speeds plus LOUD "mufflers"=wifey DID NOT like it (ironic humor in my original statement)---Oh shyte (self explanatory)---"clean out yer pool house" is Freddese for ("I'm being kicked out of me hoos [again]!"). I arse-umed that beloved Buddy resides out there somewhere near the pool house--hence the reference to Hank Williams Sr's song. Idea of JANECQUA reverting to your driveway means Wifey is SERIOUS---your resolving my net worth post dee-vorce is self-explanatory and the method by which I would earn my keep chez Barsamian is of course my widely-celebrated way with beef recipes. "Sordid"=homonym play on "assorted". Need help on the rest? The next message will include Braille and other forms of veiled threat and aids to comprehension.

BTW the car is Too Cool! (Hence my thanks).

'Night

Hal Copple · #4 (**permalink**) 02-14-2003, 09:22 PM

OK, Fred, you gotta remember that sometimes it is not the temp but the duration. I can blast up to Charlotte in the Teens, but then warm my hands on some cute nurse, then back to the office, but this is only about 30 minutes or so, each way.

But hours of this, just chills me to the bone. I dress approprately, and SPF's have heaters, i have ducted the driver's side hose to aim right at my crotch. I am tninking about going to one of the mountain climbing stores, and getting one of those chamois face masks, with the cutouts for my nostrils and eyes. I just hate to put the top up unless it is pretty rainy. But spring is actually beginning here in SC, so i was out yesterday for some pictures of my car, in the warm 65'ish temps.

Ain't never moving back north, ever.

Just kidding about the nurse thing. It is about as cold in there with that Head Nurse, as it is outside.

Fred Douglass · #5 (**permalink**) 02-14-2003, 09:46 PM

BUTT...all those heaters, crotch- or window-aimed...plus the nurse---wait a minute! I'll have to consult with my somewhat challenged 330-pound Samoan...oops Armenian lawyer---these "aids" may constitute a violation of the game rules. However, I may not qualify as fully -brained meself---I were out skate-sailing in 35 kts. wind Tuesday. Big time crashes! Enebriated participants/spectators! Near death experiences! And that's just drinking the antifreeze! Mt. Gay and Coke!
Really stupid for a 57-year-old Phart!

I ain't gonna win this one, Hal----I ain't got side coitens OR a nurse!

Jamo · #6 (**permalink**) 02-14-2003, 10:27 PM

Oh, is that all.

No problem--she doesn't get any more rides.

Fred Douglass · #7 (**permalink**) 02-15-2003, 07:07 AM

...good advice as usual.

Hal,
I would like to see photos of your new roll-bar. Dittto, I've gotta find a nearby SPF to see how the heater's rigged.

Fred Douglass · #8 (**permalink**) 02-15-2003, 02:20 PM

Second day of 80+ miles in NON-California weddah......18 degrees F today!!
I leave my doctor friend and my lawyer friend with a choice of images: 1) "Spies Like Us" when the two duds get off the cyclotron (or whatever it's called) or (more apt), 2) the Cushman-scooter-plus-Dumbers=snot!
Sheesh! Hal, lemme know if SPF has a parts catalog---need one of them heaters (or the nurse)!

Chow,