racing advice for our southern friends
 

In retrospect, looking back i might have been a bit harsh in my comments on your ls engines, so i would like to make amends and proffer some advice for you all, garnered over many years of meticulous race car preparation.

First of all, you need to spice the fuel up, so a couple of tabs of nitrogcylerine in the tank plus a couple of gobs of central ugandan gorilla snot will do the job.

Next,i suggest the injectors will need upgrading to some 400lb jobbies from a train loco or equivalent, and the most important part, you are going to need a super monster cam, the bigger the better, there is a few lying around up here from those mine haulout trucks, just let me know how many DAYS DURATION you need in it, and i will also supply a small stepladder to get over the lift.

Lets not forget the lubrication,youre going to need an oil change, so drop it out and chuck in some super slick oil from the glands of a deep sea racing mullet, and dont forget the driveshafts, grease them up with the grease from a couple of mcdogs##t burgers.

Next, to beautfy the look of that incredible intake manifold, you need to sprinkle with gold dust and polish it off with some southern mongolian trotting duck feathers, thatll do the job.

Now at this stage, i would suggest you could even fly ol carroll himself downunder to twirl the spanners, but on second thoughs when he sees whats under the bonnet that might be a waste of an airfare, SO, try to resurrect ST PETER himself to come and fit a couple of those polarisers, afterall 2 must be better than 1 eh

Now after all of this highly technical work has been completed, your beast will have that much mongrel, you will have to chain it in your garage to stop it licking its balls in public, and your friends will feel that they will need to carry an AK47 just to be a passenger.

Also dont forget to hang one of those crystals off the windscreen to harmonise the synygies between yourself and the car, and please let me know when you will be racing, so i can stick my head out the window and hear you from airlie beach.

So please, never accuse me of not helping out our southern holden cousins, ive given you all the inside knowledge, the very epithany of what you have to do, to rise to the top, and fellow queenslanders going to the nationals, sadly i wont be there to support you, but i will be in spirit, BUT be very very afraid these boys are now armed to the teeth. :LOL::LOL::LOL: CHEERS TOMCAT

Brilliant stuff Tom! Very funny.

Lol, I can get hold of the nitro, can you find me a cam Tom Cat?

Hmmmmm, then its all piss and wind pu$$y..........Cat. :)

Hey Tenroccaa perhaps you could come for a drive to Queensland .......... oh sorry....

That's a good one Ash !!:LOL::LOL:

Would love to - perhaps I can bunk down at Spooks place? :)

Point taken Ash, however I'm not the one talking up my car...never been beaten by this.....never been beaten by that etc etc. That's all well and good but come along and have a go, otherwise it is all talk. Mine slow as and made of concrete - not sure they would even let me into QLD these days. :)

Tomcat, Philm, luv the humour!
Wazza, I'm surprised you're splitting blocks, even though its happening on the track.
The tune is everything on a high HP 302 factory block. Mild inaudible detonation and high revs can caused a block to split. individual cylinder tuning, especially on efi motors, is the key imo.

I've only got central mongolian trotting duck feathers, will they do?

It's all good! :)

It's good to see passion in these forums, brightens up a sometimes boring day. As Wazza once said, 'kindling, fuel, then light a match and see what happens...

At the end of the day we are all Cobra lovers and that's all that really matters... isn't it? :p

They will do, but only if they are sprinkled with milk, from a virgin golden himalayan yak, ok.

sure ,no worries, gav how long do you want it, one that comes through the dashboard so you can spin your knitting on it while you race.:LOL:

I have a mixer for my martini's on the dash, so I will need something that perhaps fits the engine bay?

Gees, i dont even have one of those mate, shaken not stirred is the go, perfect.

Oh come on ol andy boy, chin up, ive tried to make you laugh, ive tried to help with advice.
Are you STILL just a sad sack.

Tenrocca should be banned from this forum!!!!!

I second that. :)

Philm - Even though he is in enemy guise with his LS, I enjoy his wit. :p

I vote we keep him :cool:

He is full of "wit"

Mmmmm, what is that wit, or twit.