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 545Likes
02-01-2017, 02:43 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Redland Bay,
QLD
Cobra Make, Engine: Harrison #100 under construction
Posts: 1,109
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Not Ranked
Climbing Rose
Oh what a tangled language English is and how easy it is to misconstrue......
A man takes a lady out to dinner for the first time. Later they go on to a show.
The evening is a huge success and as he drops her at her door he says 'I have had a lovely time.
You looked so beautiful, you remind me of a beautiful climbing rose. May I call on you tomorrow?'
She agrees and a date is made.
The next night he knocks on her door and when she opens it she slaps him hard across the face.
He is stunned. 'What was that for?' he asked.
She said... I looked up "beautiful climbing rose" on Google last night and it said…..
"Best suited for rooting against a brick wall or fence, no good in an open bed." 
__________________
Rog 246
Harrison #100
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02-02-2017, 01:52 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Melbourne,
vic
Cobra Make, Engine: Kenmer with Ford Quad Cam Boss 260
Posts: 983
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Not Ranked
Donald trump wants to paint the White House....
He calls for quotations..
Chinese guy quoted $3 million..
European guy quoted $7 million..
Indian guy quoted $10 million...
Trump asked Chinese guy, "How you quoted $3 million.....?"
Chinese guy replied, "1 million for paint, 1 million for labour, 1 million profit...."
Trump asked European guy..
He replied, "3 million for paint, 2 million for labour, 2 million profit....."
Trump asked Indian guy.. He replied, "4 million for you.. 3 million for me.. And we will give 3 million to the Chinese guy and ask him to paint......!!"
Order bagged by Indian .......
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02-02-2017, 06:49 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Melbourne,
Vic
Cobra Make, Engine: Some polish thing... With some old engine
Posts: 2,286
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Not Ranked
Quote:
Originally Posted by letsboogie351
Trump asked Indian guy.. He replied, "4 million for you.. 3 million for me.. And we will give 3 million to the Chinese guy and ask him to paint......!!"
Order bagged by Indian .......
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I love!
Everyone wins! 
Even the tax payer. I mean that debt probably never going to be paid off in real terms anyway  
Last edited by Dimis; 02-02-2017 at 07:55 PM..
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02-06-2017, 03:12 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Redland Bay,
QLD
Cobra Make, Engine: Harrison #100 under construction
Posts: 1,109
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Not Ranked
A Guy was Hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over and discharged, shooting him in the Genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his Doctor.
"Well, Sir, I have some good news an some bad news..??
The good news is that you are going to be OK.
The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove All of the Buckshot."
"What's the Bad News"..?? asked the Hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive Buckshot Damage done to your Marriage Machine which left quite a Few Holes in it".
"I'm going to have to refer you to my Sister", says the Doc.
"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the Hunter replied.
"Is your Sister a Plastic Surgeon"..??
" Not exactly" answered the Doctor.
"She's a Flute Player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra".
"She's going to teach you where to put your Fingers, so you don't Piss in your Eye".
__________________
Rog 246
Harrison #100
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02-07-2017, 02:24 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Melbourne,
vic
Cobra Make, Engine: Kenmer with Ford Quad Cam Boss 260
Posts: 983
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Not Ranked
how to wash your car with one bucket of water
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04-02-2017, 06:06 AM
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Senior Club Cobra Member
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Melbourne,
VIC
Cobra Make, Engine: RMC, carb 347 TopLoader and Jag running gear ~ so old school I time it with an hour-glass :D
Posts: 1,293
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Not Ranked
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04-03-2017, 12:06 PM
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Member of the north
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Join Date: May 2003
Cobra Make, Engine: A Cobra
Posts: 11,207
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Not Ranked
Just dropping by to say hi gents.
Tru
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I'm a writer, feed the artist and buy a book.
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07-25-2017, 08:18 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Queanbeyan,
NSW
Cobra Make, Engine: AP 289 USRRC #98 The Ken Miles Tribute Car
Posts: 1,134
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Not Ranked
My wife and I went to the auction mart at Tralee the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR
'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow.'
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
__________________
289 FIA Cobras RULE! 
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07-26-2017, 04:14 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Queanbeyan,
NSW
Cobra Make, Engine: AP 289 USRRC #98 The Ken Miles Tribute Car
Posts: 1,134
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Not Ranked
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found
traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that
their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American
archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story
published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of
250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an
advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the
British".
One week later, Australia's Northern Territory Times, reported the
following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Tennant Creek, Northern
Territory, aboriginal Billi Bunji, a self-taught archaeologist, reported
that he found absolutely ****-all.
Billi has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Australia had already
gone wireless..."
Makes me feel bloody proud to be Australian!
__________________
289 FIA Cobras RULE!
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04-04-2017, 01:29 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Melbourne,
vic
Cobra Make, Engine: Kenmer with Ford Quad Cam Boss 260
Posts: 983
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Not Ranked
Hi Tru, any new books I should read?
Doug
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04-04-2017, 01:31 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Melbourne,
vic
Cobra Make, Engine: Kenmer with Ford Quad Cam Boss 260
Posts: 983
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Not Ranked
The Great Lao-Tzu said:
"It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that there can be value in solving problems without using violence”.
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04-04-2017, 01:50 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Redland Bay,
QLD
Cobra Make, Engine: Harrison #100 under construction
Posts: 1,109
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Not Ranked
Roflmao !:lol:
__________________
Rog 246
Harrison #100
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04-25-2017, 03:38 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Redland Bay,
QLD
Cobra Make, Engine: Harrison #100 under construction
Posts: 1,109
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Not Ranked
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000!"
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ?"
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500".
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that's Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back . That will be $500."
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer".
Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.
ENJOY YOUR DAY !!
P.S. Written in large print for old Geezers.
__________________
Rog 246
Harrison #100
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04-27-2017, 03:51 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Melbourne,
vic
Cobra Make, Engine: Kenmer with Ford Quad Cam Boss 260
Posts: 983
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Not Ranked
French Blind Date
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05-18-2017, 01:00 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Perth,
WA
Cobra Make, Engine: G-Force Mk1, LS1, T56, Jag S3 suspension
Posts: 587
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Not Ranked
GT40 coming up for sale...
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05-18-2017, 01:20 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Melbourne,
Vic
Cobra Make, Engine: Some polish thing... With some old engine
Posts: 2,286
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Not Ranked
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcraigau
GT40 coming up for sale...
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Let me guess.
Confiscated?
Possible ATO issues?
Hmmm.
What do I win? |
05-18-2017, 08:11 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Perth,
WA
Cobra Make, Engine: G-Force Mk1, LS1, T56, Jag S3 suspension
Posts: 587
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Not Ranked
 What gave it away? The popo uniform?  |
06-21-2017, 12:51 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Redland Bay,
QLD
Cobra Make, Engine: Harrison #100 under construction
Posts: 1,109
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Not Ranked
A Tennessee farmer got home after a long day of working in the fields, and was feeling mighty horny. He went to his wife and asked her if she felt like a roll in the hay.
His wife replied, “No Michael, our son will be home from school any minute now.”
“So what?” Michael replied. “We can just turn on the dishwasher and he won’t hear a peep.”
She replied, “No way Michael,” and that was that.
Michael got frustrated and decided to go take a ride on his tractor to let off some steam.
By the time their son had gotten home, the wife had changed her mind. She asked her son to go out to his father and tell him to come home and turn on the dishwasher.
The son went out and told the farmer what the mother had said.
Michael replied, “Tell your mother that it’s too late. I already did the dishes by hand!”
' pinched from facebook'
__________________
Rog 246
Harrison #100
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07-22-2017, 09:53 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Hunter valley wine country,
NSW
Cobra Make, Engine: Homebush. Lexus quad cam V8, R154 Supra box. Oh what a feeling.
Posts: 363
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Not Ranked
I'm back
After having a stroke in 2014 the Rms took my licence off me and I thought I would never drive again and as a result I sold my cobra to a fellow member of the nsw club so after 4 years of rehab I have improved so much that I can get my licence back albeit with conditions. So I will be looking at building another cobra. Does anybody have an unfinished kit or know of one. My left side is partly dodgy so something with an auto is ideal
__________________
!!Its good to be stroked but i'd rather be blown!!
Proud member of the Bclub Central Coast chapter
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07-22-2017, 11:27 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Sunbury,
VIC
Cobra Make, Engine: Rat Rod Racer, LS1 & T56
Posts: 5,391
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Not Ranked
This is fantastic news Brett
__________________
Mike Murphy
Melbourne Australia
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