Hey A$$holes!

[BLACKJACK]

AWRIGHT, HUCKLBERRY,

I'VE SEEN SOME GAWD AWFULL SIGHTS IN MY LIFE BUT NOTHIN' TO COMPARE WITH THE FOUR NIGHTS AT THE FLING. I THINK I'M GOING BLIND IN ONE EYE; I BURNED A HOLE IN THE BACK OF MY SHIRT RIGHT OVER THE SPOT WHERE I DISCOVERED A LARGE BURN ON MY BACK MONDAY MORNING. (I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN OR HOW THAT HAPPENED); ONLY ONE KNEE WORKS - AND I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH ONE; MY TEETH HURT - AS DO MY EYEBROWS AND FINGERNAILS AND HAIR.

NON-THE-LESS - - - I'M EXTREMELY PROUD OF ALL THE DRUNKS IN CACC AND PROUD TO BE A MEMBER. I'M ALSO DAMM PROUD TO BE THE ONLY KNOWN LIVING CROATION-AMERICAN GASHOLE. (GOT THE FLAG ON THE BACK OF THE HAT TO PROVE IT).

OF COURSE - - THE REVEREND NORDSTROM WAS THERE CONDUCTING THE EVENING PRAYER SERVICES EACH NIGHT - - - UNTIL THE WEE SMALL OF THE MORNING. (THAT IS - WHEN HE WAS NOT OUT BACK STOMPING ASPARAGUS PLANTS TO DEATH).

AND GASHOLES - - - THANKS VERY MUCH - AGAIN - FOR THE NEON SIGN. I WILL ALWAYS CHERISH IT. IT'S HANGING ON THE WALL IN MY LIVING ROOM NOW - PLUGGED IN. MY DECORATOR CAME IN THIS MORNING AND ALMOST SH1T WHEN HE SAW IT. HE THOUGHT I WAS JOKING AND REACHED TO PULL OUT THE PLUG. I TOLD HIM - - "YOU TOUCH THAT THING YOU SON-OF-A-B1TCH AND YOU DIE WHERE YOU STAND". HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, "MY GOD - YOU REALLY MEAN THAT". I JUST SMILED AND HE BACKED AWAY FROM IT. DIDN'T MENTION IT AGAIN.

THIS WAS CERTAINLY THE BEST FLING EVER. I TRY TO EXPLAIN SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED (WITH GREAT REGULARITY) TO MY SONS OF OTHER FRIENDS AND THEY LOOK AT ME IN DISBELIEF. I GUESS I CAN'T REALLY BLAME THEM. IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE "YOU JUST HAD TO BE THERE". I'M SURE GLAD I WAS THERE - - TO SPEND A TERRIFIC FOUR DAYS WITH SOME OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

THANKS, GUYS - - AND Y'ALL HAVE A REALLY GREAT DAY.

BLACKJACK

PS: I "WILL" SEE YOU ALL AT DVSF IV. SOMEBODY HAS TO BE THERE TO INTRODUCE A LITTLE SANITY INTO ALL THAT CHAOS.

PPS: TURK, SHE WAS ONLY 14 YEARS OLD. THE COLUMBUS POLICE ARE PREPARING EXTRADITION PAPERS AS I WRITE THIS.