Any shrinks out there I need some couch time

[jams]

How do you become a functional member of a dysfunctional family?

Check this out...
My mother is turning 75 very soon so my sister wanted to get family and extended family together for a party. The only problem is my parents live in FL and most of us live in NJ. My father (83)has Alzheimer's for some time now so we all agreed to visit them down in FL since my dad gets disoriented very easily and needs to maintain a routine.

So without consulting the rest of the family my sister asks my mother if they want to come up to NJ for a family celebration. Of course my Mother says yes she doesn't know the word no.

My sister never even consulted the family to see if we had other plans. Since the party is down the shore there is a minimum 2-3 night stays at all of the motels for about 180 per night.

Next I get the e-mail that we are splitting the airfare as a gift without even asking again. So I am constantly in the situation where if I go along with the enabling/rude behavior it just encourages it and if I buck the system, I look like an A-hole.

Believe it or not it would be easier and cheaper for me to fly down to visit them in FL then visit them 180 mile away.

and it goes on and on.....

And I will ask again ---How do you become a functional member of a dysfunctional family?