Jokes

[bliss]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a barand sat down for a couple of beers. A few minutes later, a lanky, bow-legged cowboy walked in and said,

"Who owns the big white horse outside?"

"I do", the Lone Ranger replied. "Why?"

The cowboy drawled, "You better take care of him. He¹s almost dead from the heat."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and found Silver leaning against the hitching post, panting. They got him some water and soon Silver was looking better, but he was still panting.

The Lone Ranger said, "Tonto, run around Silver as fast as you can and see if the breeze makes him feel any better.

Tonto replied, "Sure, Kemosabe," and began running around and around Silver. The Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer.

A few minutes later, another cowboy came into the bar and drawled, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

"I do," the Lone Ranger said, "What's wrong with him this time?"

"Nothin'," the cowboy said, "But you left your Injun runnin'."
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On Valentine's Day a shy but drunk young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar and said "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Yes, I do," she replied, "but go ahead since I'm sure you're going to ask anyway."

"Okay," he said. "How many men have you slept with?"

"That's my business!" she snapped.

"Oh cool!" he said. "How much?"
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Three men were sitting around discussing women, and one said to the others, “I enjoy looking at a woman’s breasts the most.”

“Personally I’d rather look at a woman’s butt,” the second man replied. “How about you?” he asked, turning to the third man.

“Me?” the man said. “I prefer to see the top of a woman’s head.”