03-03-2013, 10:18 AM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Sonora,
CA
Cobra Make, Engine:
Posts: 1,770
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Not Ranked
Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing
on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food.
Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot
a rescue boat coming...
One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "WOW, I just can't believe
my eyes.
There is a woman out there floating in our direction."
The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, "You're hallucinating, you've
finally lost your mind."
But within a few minutes, up on the beach floated a stunningly beautiful woman, face
up, totally naked, unconscious, without even so much as a ring or earrings on her person.
The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach and discovered,
yes, she was alive, warm and breathing. One said to the other, "You know, we've been
on this God forsaken island for months now without a woman. It's been such a long,
long time... So... Do you think we should... well... You know... Screw her?"
"Out of WHAT?!?" asked the other lawyer.
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While attending a Marriage seminar dealing with communication, Jack and his wife, Barb, listened to the instructor. “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He addressed the man, “can you describe your wife’s favorite flower?” Jack leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “Its Pillsbury isn’t it?”
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A man died and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an obituary. She called the obituary department and said, "This is what I want to print: Bernie is dead." The man at the newspaper said, "But for $25 you are allowed to print six words." The woman answered, "OK. Then print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale."
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A few days before her birthday a husband asked his wife, “Dear, what would you like for your present?”
Wife: I really don’t think I should say.
Husband: How about a diamond ring?
Wife: I don’t care much for diamonds.
Husband: well, then, a mink coat?
Wife: You know I do not like furs.
Husband: A golden necklace?
Wife: I already have three of them.
Husband: Well, gosh, what do you want?
Wife: What I’d really like is a divorce
Husband: Hmmm, I wasn’t planning on spending that much
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