Jokes

[cobra de capell]

She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, ‘You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.’

My eyes lit up and I thought, ‘I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.’

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all, right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, ‘Thanks,’ and returned to the stove, her ‘T’ shirt still around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked, ‘What was that all about?’

She explained, ‘The egg timer’s broken.’

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED...

A family from Dallas was visiting the nations capital when they were surprised by a sudden, heavy rainstorm. They ducked into the nearest store, which happened to be a sporting goods store. The young son looked at a Redskins windbreaker and went over to his sister and said, "Sis, I've become a Redskins fan and I'd like to have that windbreaker for my birthday."
His sister smacks him hard on the side of his head and says, "Go talk to Mom."

So the boy goes over to his mother and says, "Mom, I've become a Redskins fan and I'd like to have that windbreaker for my birthday."

His mother smacks him hard on one side of his head and then on the other side of his head and says, "Go talk to your father."

So he goes over to his father and says, "Dad, I've become a Redskins fan and I'd like to have that windbreaker for my birthday."

His father smacks him hard on both sides of his head and gives him a hard knock on the top and says, "Son, this family has been rooting for the Cowboys for 3 generations and there is no way any member of this family is going to wear a Redskins windbreaker. Storm's over so let's get out of here."

As they were walking away the father asked, "Son, did you learn anything in that store?" The boy answered, "Sure did, Pop. I've only been a Redskins fan for a few minutes and already I hate you Cowboy loving b@$tards."

COMPUTER PROBLEMS

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn the sucker off and be sure to tell your Mom!