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Kirkham Motorsports

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2008, 11:33 AM
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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby. "

"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
_____

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to a doctor who was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations . . . I've changed my will three times!"
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Old 10-24-2008, 04:02 PM
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IMMIGRANT STYLE

An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker. ‘Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?’ he asks.

‘$100,’ she replies.

In broken English he says ‘Do you do Immigrant Style?’

‘No’ she says.

‘I pay you $200 to do Immigrant Style.’

‘No’, she says, not knowing what Immigrant Style is.

‘I pay you $300.’

‘No’, she says.

‘I pay you $400.’

‘No’, she says.

So finally he says, ‘OK, I pay $1,000 to do Immigrant Style.’

She thinks, ‘Well, I’ve been in the game for over 10 years now. I’ve had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world. How bad could Immigrant Style be?’’.

So she agrees and has sex with him. They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several hours, they finish.

Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, ‘Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So what exactly is ‘Immigrant Style’?’

The illegal immigrant replies ‘You send bill to Government.’
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Old 11-06-2008, 11:05 AM
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Default The Aging of Presidents

I know it's extra work but click the link! I had to go back 4 pages to find the joke thread! Man things have been too serious around here!

http://www.jibjab.com/view/257196
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