Jokes

[cobra de capell]

THE PLAN:

A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.

B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.

C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.

D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.


Damn - I love it when a plan comes together
_____

How to say “I love you” in 25 languages:

English
I Love You

Spanish
Te Amo

French
Je T'aime

German
lch Liebe Dich

Japanese
Ai ****e Imasu

Thai
Phom rak khun

Italian
Ti amo

Chinese
Wo Ai Ni

Swedish
Jag Alskar

Alabama
Arkansas
Kansas
Oklahoma
Texas
North Carolina
Georgia
Tennessee
Missouri
Mississippi
Louisiana
Virginia
West Virginia
Kentucky
and parts of Florida

Nice Ass , Get in the truck
_____

Ole had come down with a bug, and after weeks of trying everything he was getting worse instead of better.

Lena finally convinced him to see the doctor, but being too weak to venture out the doctor made a house call.

After examining Ole the doctor wanted to talk to Lena out in the hall, but Ole insisted he be a part of the conversation.

The doctor appologized, and said there was nothing that could be done. It was just a matter of time and Ole would be gone.

Ole pled with the doctor to do something ... do anything ... "I'm not ready yet, I'll try anything!"

The doctor thought on it and finally said "Well there is something you could do." "Mud packs!" "Start out slow ... a couple a day, and as you feel up to it add more until you are taking three mud baths a day."

Ole brightened up and promised to do it faithfully, and then he asked "Will it really work? Will it cure me?"

The doctor replied "I doubt it, but it WILL help you get used to the dirt."
_____

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker .

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of
God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
;
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
through the intersection..

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma