Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Little Johnny came home from school with a BIG smile on his face. His Mother noticed this, and asked him, "Why the big grin, Johnny?"

"I showed Sally Brown my weenie today at the playground!" proudly replied Johnny.

Before his mother could say a word, Johnny went on to say, "She said it reminded her of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile, his Mom asked, "Really? She thought it was small, did she?"

"No..... salty."

Mom fainted.
_____

Quotes about dogs.....

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." -Anonymous

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -Ann Landers

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." -Will Rogers

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -Ben Williams

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -Josh Billings

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -Andy Rooney

"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made." -M. Facklam

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -James Thurber

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -Robert Benchley

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -Rita Rudner

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard." -Dave Barry

"And nobody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."-Franklin P. Jones

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." -Unknown

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -Anne Tyler

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -Robert A. Heinlein
_____

Obama Says Sotomayor’s “Castrate White Males” Comment Taken Out of Context

June 2, 2009

WASHINGTON - President Obama said that comments by Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor in a 2004 speech in which she called for the “castration of all white males until they no longer hold power,” have been “taken out of context” by right wing ideologues.

In the speech delivered to the San Juan chapter of NOW, Sotomayor said, “I want to be perfectly clear about this next comment so that there is no mistaking that my words mean something other than what they plainly say: the time has come to limit white male oppression by castrating every white male until they are no longer dominant in Western culture. That means forcible removal of their testicles. I realize the brutality of my comment, but I mean exactly what I say.”

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs agreed with President Obama that the statement has been taken out of context, and added that Sotomayor “certainly” did not mean that white males should be castrated. “Judge Sotomayor was simply saying that there should be room at the American table for diverse cultures.”

President Obama told MSNBC: ”Look, when she’s appearing before the Senate committee in her confirmation process, all this nonsense that is being spewed out will be revealed for what it is.”
____