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Old 01-25-2008, 01:07 AM
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Smile A Long Read But I like It

The Old Man and the Dog

by Catherine Moore

"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me.

"Can't you do anything right?" Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.

"I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving." My voice
was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in
front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy
clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder
seemed to echo my inner turmoil.

What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of
nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed
often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to
his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy
log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about
his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a
younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to
keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an
operating room. He was lucky; he survived.

But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders Suggestions and offers of help were turned
aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally
stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm.
We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a
week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was
satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody.
Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and
argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The
clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of
each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the
months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each
of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem
to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was
giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something
that might help you! Let me go get the article." I listened as she read.

The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the
patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes
had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of
disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each
contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black
dogs, spotted dogs, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected
one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair. As

I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his
feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one
of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years
had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted
out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?" The officer looked, then
shook his head in puzzlement.

"He's a funny one Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We
brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was
two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going
to kill him?"

"Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog."

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision
"I'll take him," I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the
house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when
Dad shuffled onto the front porch.

"Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.

"You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did
you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer
pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front
of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion
replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was
on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They
spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments
> on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's
bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one
night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed
covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick,
put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face
serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne
lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had
slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently
thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of
mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers."

"I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article...

Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their
deaths And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

In many way this paralles the last two years that I had my Mother and Father and took care of them. My Father was difficult to say the least, but I loved him and tried to hide the hurt when he would yell at me for no reason. I understood that he was in pain and unable to do anything but exist as his heart was very bad. He did enjoy it when I helped him out on the back porch and he would sit and hold our little Pom Tasha and she just seemed to relieve the hurt and tension in him.

Ron
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Old 01-25-2008, 06:55 AM
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I can relate to the loss of an ability, and getting angry. 18 months ago I came down with Bell's Palsy. My face collapsed as if I had a stroke. I began to have extreme dizzy spells. I was just putting the shop together building shelves, and running electrical wire.

Once I actually started doing the work. At times it looked like I was drunk. I would hang on for fear of falling. A few times I had to explain to the customers my condition. It was frustrating as hell, and it went on for a year.

Inside I was boiling, but I had to keep that to myself, so I wouldn't scare off customers....LOLOLOL- My thoughts were I would have to sell my sailboat...FEAR.. Other thoughts were I wouldn't be able to recover my investment if I couldn't do the work. I xcan really relate to the story...... it's tough when you lose your ability.
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Old 01-25-2008, 08:56 AM
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Ron - excellent story, I borrowed it and sent to some co-workers.


imagine2frolic - Hang in threre, I'll pray for you.


I run a retirement community and I take my yellow Lab and my wife's sh!tzu to work almost every day. If I can't take them in, people ask me before I get to my office were they are and if they are alright. They make a difference, and really can brighten-up peoples lives!


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Old 01-25-2008, 09:44 AM
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Perry,

Thanks. I thought it was good also. And after my Mother passed away our little Pom wouldn't eat at all until I finally got some high protein jell at the vets and would put some in her mount each morning. After about a week she started eating a few bites and then gradually got over grieving and was ok. Then when she died, the other one would go out and lay for hours on top of her grave. I love dogs and pets.

Ron
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Old 01-25-2008, 10:23 AM
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BigGuy,

Thanks for the offer, Turns out the doctor put me on a diet , loaded me with steroids, antibiotics, and just about anything one could think of. The diet got my blood sugar so low that that is what was giving me the dizzy spells. I started adding a little sugar, and for the past 6 months I have been fine.

As far as my face collapsing. I would make faces at myself in the mirror throughout the day, and after about 3 weeks I could finally close my eye. Within a few more days my grin starting coming back. Day by day I could see the difference. I didn't care about my face collapsing. I only wanted my eye to blink. My eye was so painful it was almost like passing a kidney stone. Even though I was adding eyedrops all the time it was constantly irritated.....thanks again B.G. for the offer
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Old 01-25-2008, 01:41 PM
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You guys and your dog stories make my eyes leak every time!
Thanks, Ron
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