Draft Old Men

[Ron61]

this is so Funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier----

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry" We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys alway s get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-*****.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training< b>. I can hear the Drill Sgt. In the "New army" now, "Get down and give me ... er .. One."

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. Also, we won't get in trouble for mistreating prisoners. We won't take any.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

Ron

[Dan40]

A guy walking point with gout, definitely would be taking NO prisoners!!!

Dan

[Maurice Johnson]

I'm getting old, and my life is all spent
'cause my get up and go, got up and went.
But it's not too bad when I think with a grin
where my get and go, has got up and bin.



Ron, you made my day (Dirty Harry)

[Ron61]

Maurice,

Thanks and I wish I could take credit, but that was sent to me by another member who wishes to remain unknown and he asked me if I would post it. I suppose since he knew I was so old that I would still be considered very young by that age group he felt it more appropriate for me to do it. However it is very appropriate for old farts like me.

Ron

[Fordzilla]

Ron, I've seen that before. It's a great read- Thanks. I'm a Vet & know that the majority of the Veteran community still longs to serve. In reality, Combat is not for us old farts. Just the logistics of keeping my insulin cold & all my pills sorted would be a nightmare! Best for us old Vets to do what we can to support those wearing the Uniform of the US Military in other ways, such as through our Veteran Organizations. I do all I can to help & still feel obligated to serve.
Thanks for the Post!
A US Army Vet & Past American Legion Commander, Still serving Proudly for God & Country.

[Ron61]

Mick,

There are a few of us around here that do what we can to help the young guys now serving. Not like when I was in Korea. This young generation of give mes don't seem to understand that they can act like assholes because a lot of people died and were badly scarred for life to keep this freedom for them. But not all. I do know some very good young men and women who are doing their best to learn and move into fields that we need good people in, but the economy is really hurting them. I don't have much but do help them with what I can. Our Vet Hospital here is on the close list and may already be closed. It was not a bad one but one thing always puzzled me. I talked to many who were in there and they were sent up from the Bay Area. The ones that lived here were sent to a vet hospital in the Bay Area.Never could get any answer or understand the reasoning for that.

Ron

[Fordzilla]

Ron, I gave up trying to figure out the VA system & their reasoning behind doing things. Yes, many of America's youth think they are owed something & are give me's. Not all, but a vast majority think that way. For the most part, the younger vets don't have that mentality, they realize the sacrifices made by those that served before them.
By the Way, Thanks for your service.............Salute

[Ron61]

Thanks Mick,

My Father was wounded in Germany in World War 11 and I just figured that once I finished college I should join the service and do something for the country, even if it was very little. I wanted to go to Germany as that is where my family originated from but was sent to Korea as they needed a person with my background and specialty. Landed at Inchon on my birthday and thought I have now seen the end of the world. Thankfully I was not in combat as they kept me as far away from any situation as they could and if the North were to attack again and over run the DMV, they would fly me to Japan. The real heroes are the ones that are still on the beaches at Normandy and the Pacific Islands and in unmarked graves all over the world. I don't think I would have made a good front line person as I got sick just having to go to the battle sites after it was over and see what it was like as I examined any enemy equipment they may have captured. Even though the war was officially in the truce when I got there, they were still fighting along the DMZ and did for the first 8 months of my tour which they extended by 3 months just 20 days before I was to leave. I visited some of the Island battle sites and looked at the old Jap coastal guns and pill boxes and all of the tanks and other equipment still setting in the water rusting away. But if there ever was a coward created, I would most likely be at the head of the list.

Ron

[Fordzilla]

Originally Posted by Ron61

But if there ever was a coward created, I would most likely be at the head of the list.

Ron

Ron, Don't confuse cowardice with commom sense! Everyone (who is normal) has a fear of combat. It's what you do with that fear that either labels you with courage or cowardice. I have seen the toughest of tough guys freeze with fear & the meekest of meek rise with courage. To volunteer & wear the uniform tells me what kind of guy you are & you have my respect. My Salute & Thanks stand as issued!

[Dan40]

Originally Posted by Ron61

Thanks Mick,

My Father was wounded in Germany in World War 11 and I just figured that once I finished college I should join the service and do something for the country, even if it was very little. I wanted to go to Germany as that is where my family originated from but was sent to Korea as they needed a person with my background and specialty. Landed at Inchon on my birthday and thought I have now seen the end of the world. Thankfully I was not in combat as they kept me as far away from any situation as they could and if the North were to attack again and over run the DMV, they would fly me to Japan. The real heroes are the ones that are still on the beaches at Normandy and the Pacific Islands and in unmarked graves all over the world. I don't think I would have made a good front line person as I got sick just having to go to the battle sites after it was over and see what it was like as I examined any enemy equipment they may have captured. Even though the war was officially in the truce when I got there, they were still fighting along the DMZ and did for the first 8 months of my tour which they extended by 3 months just 20 days before I was to leave. I visited some of the Island battle sites and looked at the old Jap coastal guns and pill boxes and all of the tanks and other equipment still setting in the water rusting away. But if there ever was a coward created, I would most likely be at the head of the list.

Ron

The only ones not afraid have already taken a round through the brain, somewhere, somehow.

You do what you have to do and hope you don't soil your shorts in the process. Getting really, really pissed off, helps.

Dan

[Wes Tausend]

...

Ron,

There might be another advantage to enlisting us old guys.

We wouldn't really need Liberty or any other kind of pass to town. What would we do, go to a strip club? Well, what if the strip joints hired women my age? Naw, I'd rather lie in my bunk and reminisce.

In the morning, I'd get up before Reveille and have coffee with some of the other old guys. If ya gotta wake up to pee all the time anyway, ya might as well.

Wes

...

[Dan40]

Originally Posted by Wes Tausend

...

Ron,

There might be another advantage to enlisting us old guys.

We wouldn't really need Liberty or any other kind of pass to town. What would we do, go to a strip club? Well, what if the strip joints hired women my age? Naw, I'd rather lie in my bunk and reminisce.

In the morning, I'd get up before Reveille and have coffee with some of the other old guys. If ya gotta wake up to pee all the time anyway, ya might as well.

Wes

...

That enlarged prostate doesn't let you sleep on guard duty for any length of time either.

Old age ain't for sissies!


I can't see and I can't pee
I can't chew and I can't screw
Everything I eat takes forever to pass
if these are the Golden years
You can kiss my azz

Dan

[Ron61]

Wes & Dan,

Golden years takes on an entirely different meaning every year older you get doesn't it. But in many ways, I don't mind it.

Ron

[Bill Bess]

Ron, I really appreciate the article on Drafting Old Men.

Us old guys really have the sick mindset to get the job done (or aleast I do).

We were the little kids back in 1945 that called all those bad guys names based on their respective place of birth and what they looked like, and were very proud to do so.

We were happy to burn ants with a homemade flame throwers using a 'bug sprayer and gasolene". We could shoot birds with a BB gun or what ever we could devise and celebrate with a good kill.
We thought nothing of riiping off some rich kids bike to use as parts for our own bikes. We also were resourceful, we knew where everything and everybody's stuff was kept so when we needed supplies for project...they could be appropriated in good order(construction sites were the best).

We weren't heartless, we were just resourceful little punks and were proud of it..because we had nothing and didn't expect anything from anybody.
Ya, we all grew up, got jobs raised a family and now our bodys are just falling apart..So we would be good at doing those ugly tasks like eliminating the new bad guys while serving in the military.....that is if they could get us to do anything other than BS.
Bill

[Ron61]

Bill,

Maybe we could bore them to death telling them about our days when we were kids. I spend a lot of time thinking about the things I did when I was a kid and then wondering how I ever survived. But at least I had fun and didn't have the Govt. telling me I can't have this or that because it is bad for me if I eat it. I started learning about electricity when I was in the 1st grade with a bunch of old 6 volt batteries and coils that were taken from one of the old all Steel Fordson tractors. I had no books or schematics so had to hook them up in various configurations until I figured out which ones gave the most voltage and current. That I found out when I almost electrocuted my Father.

Ron