Jokes

[bliss]

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib.
Silently she watched him.

As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused,
with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.

"A penny for your thoughts," she said.

"It's amazing!" he replied. "I can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $49.50."
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A lawyer dies and goes before Saint Peter. Saint Peter looks over his record and tells him he doesn't see any major offenses but not much good done either. The lawyer tells him that he gave a quarter to a homeless man in 1989 right outside the coffee shop and then again he gave a quarter to another homeless outside the home depot in 2010. Saint Peter tells him it is a close call and that he will check with God. So Saint Peter asks God whether he should let him in or not and God says " Give him his fifty cents back and send him to hell"
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Women are like computers. You never really....

appreciate them until they go down on you!
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