Jokes

[Art Burtt]

Two buddies drinking:
Two buddies are getting very drunk when suddenly one of them throws up on himself.
He says,"oh no, my wife is going to kill me!
His buddy says,"don't worry pal just put a twenty dollar bill in your front pocket and tell your wife some guy threw up on you and gave you the twenty for the dry cleaning bill".

They stay for another couple of rounds and get even drunker.

Eventually the drunk stumbles home and his wife starts giving him a hard time,"you reek of alcohol and you've thrown up all over yourself ,you are disgusting"!
Spaeaking very crefully so as not to slur,he says,
"Nowaina minit, I can 'spalin everything! itsh not what you think. I only had a cupoladrinks. But some guy threw up on me ,he had too many and couldn't hold his liquor. he said he was very sorry and gave me a twennie bucks for the cleaning bill". His wife looks in his pocket and says, But this forty dollars". "Oh yeah... I almos forgot,he shhhit in my pants too"!