Jokes

[cobra de capell]

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife ‘Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!’

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go un-rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. ‘What the Hell is this??’ he said to himself as a little ‘dust’ cloud appeared when he shook them out.
‘April,’ he hollered into the bathroom, ‘why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?’

She replied ...’It’s not talcum powder......It’s ‘Miracle Grow!
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A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so begged their dad for the clue.

‘Well’ he said, ‘It’s what mummy calls me sometimes.’

The little girl screams ‘Don’t eat it, Don’t eat it, it’s an ass hole!’
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A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he’d been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress. The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the dinner the young man realized he couldn’t hold it in one-second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped. Spot! Called out the young woman’s mother to the family dog, lying at the young mans feet. Relieved at the dogs having been blamed, the young man let another, slightly larger one go. Spot! She called out sharply. I’ve got it made, thought the fellow to himself. One more and Ill feel fine. So he let loose a really big one. Spot!!! Shrieked the mother. Get over here before he craps on you!