Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at the pearly gates for
admission to heaven. St. Peter asked them to identify themselves.
One doctor stepped forward and said, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon and
helped kids overcome their deformities. " St. Peter said, "You can enter."
The second doctor said, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped people rehabilitate
themselves." St. Peter also invited him in.
The third applicant stepped forward and said, "I was an HMO manager. I
helped people get cost-effective health care." St. Peter said, "You can
come in, too."
But as the HMO manager walked by, St. Peter added,
"You can stay three days. After that, you can go to Hell."
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One beautiful morning a woman's 15 yr. old daughter announced to her Mom that she was pregnant, The Mom in a state of shock to this news blurted out Oh my God are you sure, the daughter produced a positive pregnancy test strip and said Yes , the Mom said I thought we raised you better then this. how? When? Why? Tell me who's the father? the daughters reply to the questions was "I don't know!" "I don't know!" "I don't know!" "How should I know You and dad never let me go steady!
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A fair haired person goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination? "
The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this?
Give me 22 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 6 Baptists".
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