Jokes

[cobra de capell]

A husband came across a study which he took triumphantly home to his wife.

"Look here," he said, "this study shows that men use about 15,000 words a day while women use 30,000. What do you think about that?"

The wife thought for a moment and said, "Well, I think that's because we have to say everything twice."

Looking perplexed, the husband said "What?"
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The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past seven months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.

When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband any more.

"For the last seven months," the wife replies, "every morning I take a cab to work. I don't make much money and my husband doesn't give more than bus fare, so the cab driver always asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' I always give him an 'or what'. That makes me late to work I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to dock your salary, or what?' That's another 'or what.' On the way home, I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' And, again, I do an 'or what'. So you see, Doctor, when I get home I'm all tired out and I don't want sex any more."

The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?"
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The mind of a five-year old is wonderful. One day I was reading the story of Chicken Little to my class.

I came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. I read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

I paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One of my little girls raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy S$it! A talking chicken!'"
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A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention.

The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."