Interested in a new Road Serpent

[Great Asp]

Since the untimely demise of SPF 992, I am in the market for a new car. Possibly, a Road Serpent!!!

Could you give me one reason I should entertain buying a Road Serpent? Just one...

Also, I would like to put a PowerStroke in my Road Serpent, any problems?

Great Asp

[blykins]

Yeah, I'd like to know about the Powerstroke myself. My parents live on a horse farm, and we have to go get large loads of hay often. What better way to pull a gooseneck than with a beautiful Road Serpent Cobra. Can you put a gooseneck hitch on the decklid?

[Turk]

Mr. Asp
did I get it right this time?

One reason why a Road Serpent not another SPF?
Because we offer our car with an optional gun rack for the deer season.
Another reason, (I have seen the pictres of your wrcked car). your SPF fared better than ours would have. Now you have to mess with the insurance adjusters etc. Whereas our car would have been a total loss at the first contact with anythng larger than a bass or a trout.
This way you would a a check in your hand within hours of your accident. We wouldn't even bother with the adjuster and such, Every Road Serpent that got in any accident has been a total loss.

We will also buy your wrecked car for the fair market value. We need the parts out of them

How about them apples. Any more questions> Nice deal uh?

TURK
Accident investigation Div.

[Great Asp]

Mr. Turk,

One item besides the gun rack, I need those chrome deer whistles installed in the front of my new Road Serpent.

Great Asp

[Turk]

Mr. Asp

We no longer offer Deer Accessories. We had some on our car, my brother in law had a similar encounter with Bambi...and they don't work!

By the time you see the deer, it is too late to pull over to blow on those things. Also where we live there are lots of bugs in the air, very seldom you will have a whistle clean enough to put your lips on that close to the bumpers. They are always full of yellow bug squirts.

We are working on something that looks like metal rails they put on locomotives that operate in snow country. They kind a look like a snow plow, and nothing would hurt your car with one of those babies in front. Things get pushed to the sides. Ours will be retractable, and you will be able to install fog lights on them.

We are working a deal with J.C Whitney and Sears. If they decide not to carry them, we'll make them available direct from manufacturer. (that's us)

TURK
Accessory and Wildlife Div.

[Great Asp]

Mr. Turk Sir,

If I am reading your post correctly, I am totally confused.

That being the case, would this "plow thingy" be activated from the steering wheel center? I have this idea (completely my own mind you), Where my Road Serpent will have several letters of the alphabet on the center of the steering wheel, that operate different devices.

For instance (again, only my idea here), lift jacks that would allow me to "JUMP" over running deer. Pay no attention to the engineering obstacles here; I only want to know if you can make it work?

What do you think?

Great Asp

[ERA535]

Sir:

I am very interested in purchasing a Road Serpent, either new or pre owned - as you know.

Could you please send a price list to me at your earliest including an options list.

I am currently following some leads in the Miami, Florida area on three Road Serpents.......

One I have looked at was actually an old ERA - not a Road Serpent at all!!! The nerve of some people.

I am finding out that locating a Road Serpent in decent condition is quite difficult.

Thank you.

Pat Buckley

[Turk]

Great Asp

What you are looking for is 5T-HYD34.
That is a complete kit, with reservoirs, lines and the hydraulic lines to make any car jump. You may have seen them at car shows. When combined with a remote operated low-rider kit, it should make your Cobra jump over a deer or a herd of deer.
That accessory has been out for sometime, and available through our dealers.

Contact any of our Southern California dealers, and they should be able to hook you right up.

You can put the controls anywhere you want. We do have some suggestions where you should put them. If you are stuck, give us a call and we'll walk you through.

TURK
RS VP
Accessory and aftermarket div.

[Turk]

Mr ERA
I am not surprised you are having a difficult time locating a R. Serpent in decent shape.

Most people buy them for track use and they get driven hard.
Come to think of it, we haven't seen one either. That includes the new ones as they leave the factory.

Will post the option packages and the accessory list as soon as we make them up.

TURK
ps. We now have CD changers and CB available for all models.

[bonyhadi]

Please confirm that your fine firm has been awarded the contract for the continuation (replica) (fakey-doo)
(counterfeit) GT40. Will the low rider package that is very much in demand here in Fresno be offered??Wish to forward deposit forthwith, do you still maintain a corespondent bank in Nigeria?

[Turk]

Yes, yes. We do our banking exclusively in Nigeria. We have a few government officials who are working with us. As a matter of fact you will hear from a few of them from time to time under a different cover.
When you get those offers to help those fine people to transfer some funds out of Nigeria via your bank account, please don't treat their pleas as spam.
I stand behind them 100%. They are all legit.

As for the GT-40...we are sitting that out for a while. If Ford does not go through with it , like we predicted we may get into that market with both feet. If they do, we will just sit back and see what the intersest level is.
At the mean time, please don't hesitate to send deposits. You never know! It is better to err on the side of caution and be the first one in line, just in case.

TURK
International Monetary Div.