Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

Are You Dirty Minded???

1). What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2). What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?3). What
can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?4). What word starts with f
and ends with u-c-k?5). Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman?6). What does a dog do that you
can step into?7). What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands?8). What is hard, six inches long, has
two nuts, and can make a girl fat?9). What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages?10). What is it that all men have one of; it's
longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?


ANSWERS:
1. (talk)
2. (legs)
3. (a twenty dollar bill)
4. (firetruck)
5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt)
6. (pants)
7. (fork)
8. (Almond Joy candy bar)
9. (grit)
10. (last name)
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TO MY DEAR GIRLFRIEND,

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times..
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR BOYFRIEND,

I think you have things a little confused..
Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc.on TV
Of the times we did get together the reason I laid still was because you missed and were
screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was "Would you
prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I
was trying to breathe..
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