Jokes

[bliss]

I couldn't help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night.

One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired.”
His buddy says: “Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time.
She's after me 3 and 4 times a day,?I just don't know what to do."

A fellow about 70+, sitting a couple of stools down,also overheard the conversation.


He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says:

"Marry her. That'll put a stop to that sh!t."
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When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him.
And during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex?
Tarzan not know sex he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said ....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.
Horrified Jane said,Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.
She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.
Here she said, pointing to her privates,you must put it in here.
Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch!
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed What did you do that for?
Tarzan replied, Check for squirrel.
_____

I'm going to start telling women that I'm available for a limited time only and hope that their shopping instinct kicks in.
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Oscar-nominated actor Benedict Cumberbatch has apologized for referring to black actors as “colored” in a recent appearance on a U.S. talk show.

But, on the plus side, now we’ll get to hear Al Sharpton try to pronounce “Benedict Cumberbatch.”