Jokes

[bliss]

"My brother worked in the mayor's election campaign, hoping to get a city job after the election."

"WOW -- what's he doing now?"

"Nothing. He got the job."
_____

An anonymous confession spotted recently in the Gazette-Telegram:

"The one comforting aspect of being an economist is that no one else can predict the future either."
_____

The man who invented autocorrect has died. My he roast in piss.
_____

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they
always wanted.

Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified
to find an incredibly-ugly baby.

He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."
When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
His wife confessed, "Not this time."
_____

Truisms....

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears,
don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!


My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence,
and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.


Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!


It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something complicated.


Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.


I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.


If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.