Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing.

After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water.

After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite.

Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."

Jethro asks, "What did you say?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."

Jethro again asks, "What?" Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"
____

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to ask them what happened.
The Coroner tells the Inspector, "The first body is a 72 year old Frenchman. He died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."

"The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age. He won a thousand dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, age 66, struck by lightning."

"Why is she smiling then?", inquires the Inspector.

"She thought she was having her picture taken!"
_____

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, “Daddy’s gonna eat your fingers,” pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, “What’s wrong, honey?”

She replied, “What happened to my booger?”