Jokes

[EarlsflyinCobra]

THE WASHCLOTH Ladies this has to be
read, laughed at and passed. There isn't a woman alive
today who won't crack up over this!

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist
later in the week.. Early one morning, I received a
call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had
been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had
only just packed everyon e off to work and school, and
it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office
took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to
spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort
over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I
wasn't going to be able to ma ke the full effort. So,
I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the
washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave
myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was
at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the
clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car
and raced to my appointment.

I was in t he waiting room for only a few minutes when
I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure
you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the
other side of the room and pretended that I was in
Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My,
we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't
we?" I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and
went home. The rest of the day was normal ... Some
shopping, cleaning, cooking.
;
After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing,
she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my
washcloth?"

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the
sink, i t had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside
it."

NEVER EVER GOING BACK TO THAT DOCTOR. EVER!

[Wes Tausend]

...

That time of year again...

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family."

"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."

"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed.

"So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"

"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!"

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it!"

"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother -540 yard Par 5,with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it.

The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!"

"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"

"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother. "But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of myself!

And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"

"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.

"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

"You missed the ******* putt, didn't you?"


...