Q. Why doesn't Obama pray? A. It's impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.
Q. Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate? A. It got mixed in with his Rezko mortgage records and shredded.
Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate? A. He accidentally smoked it.
Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself? A. Because it would be racist.
Anagram: President Barack Hussein Obama = A Democrat speaks inane rubbish
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common? A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi? A. He thinks that things go better with coke.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer? A: Barack Obama.
Proof that Barack is the Obamessiah: Obama preached to the multitude by the side of the lake. Obama created new states from out of the void. Obama turned whine into Kool-Aid® for his followers. Obama came to us carried upon a donkey. Obama triumphed over the beast, the enemy of all men. Obama was stoned and yet he has risen. Obama's flock has millions of sheep. Obama will reign over us from a house with many rooms. You must have no other candidates before Obama. Obama will raise voters from the dead. Count on it
Q. Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama? A. Because Jimmy didn't want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why did Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama? A. Because he was running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. Why did David Letterman vote for Barack Obama? A. Because he was running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes.
Q. Why did Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama? A. Because she was running out of other crazy things to do.
Q. Why did Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama? A. Brain tumor.
Obama is so pretty that Bill Clinton wants to intern for him
Obama is so pretty that he gives John Edwards makeup tips
Q. Why did the Secret Service install lighting rods at the White House? A. To protect President Obama as he took his Oath of Office.
Q. Why does Obama want a 40% tax on aspirin? A. Because it's white, and it works.
A recession is when your neighbor is out of work.
A depression is when you are out of work.
A recovery is when Obama is out of work.
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