Jokes

[cobra de capell]

The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it. To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.

"I'll tell you what," he said, "how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I'll wash possible?"
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62 percent of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex."

- Humorist Erma Bombeck -
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What is Old?

'OLD' IS WHEN.....
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,'
and you answer, 'Pick one, I can't do both!'


'OLD' IS WHEN....
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.


'OLD' IS WHEN....
A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.


'OLD' IS WHEN....
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.


'OLD' IS WHEN.....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.


'OLD' IS WHEN.....
You are cautioned to slow down by... The doctor instead of by the police.


'OLD' IS WHEN....
'Getting a little action' means I don't need to take any fibre today.


'OLD' IS WHEN.....
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.



'OLD' IS WHEN.....
An 'all-nighter' means not getting up to pee
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