Jokes

[Jim Werth]

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one
of the new doctors. After about 4 minutes in the examination room,
she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was,
and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and
relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the
first doctor was and demanded,

"What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has
four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her
she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without
looking up said,

"Does she still have the hiccups?"

[cobra de capell]

Okay, I'll try again.

A man goes into an ice cream store. He orders a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate.

"Sir, we're out of chocolate."

"Okay, I'll have a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate."

"Sir, like I said, we're outa chocolate."

"Right, then I'll have a scoop of butter pecan and a scoop of chocolate."

"Sir, can you spell van in vanilla?"

"V-A-N."

"And can you spell straw in strawberry?"

"Sure. S-T-R-A-W."

"Now, can you spell frick in chocolate?"

"There's no frick in chocolate."

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU - THERE'S NO FRICKIN' CHOCOLATE!"

[d_ford]

A high school wrestler was recounting to another student how he had won his latest match the night before. He described how the coach had told him before the match that his opponent had a particular move called "the pretzel" that once you were locked into it, there was no getting out. The wrestler said that right away, his opponent got him in the pretzel. He was twisted in every direction and didn't even know which way was up.
The student asked if that hold was impossible to get out of, how did he win the match? Well, said the wrestler, I was all twisted up in this hold, knowing that I was about to lose the match when I saw that a male crotch was right against my face.
Do you have any idea how much strength you have when you bite your own ballsack?

[Ron61]

David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR
drivers (I bet his life will be miserable after the NAACP sees this!)

# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.
# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.
# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same
time.
# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale JR.
# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.
# 3 - No Cadillac's approved for competition.
# 2 - Can't wear helmet sideways.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR.

# 1 - When they crash their cars, they bail out and run.

[wtm442]

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, "Can you make a sound like a frog, Grand pappy?"

Grandpa (being in a kink of ill mood) responds, "No, I don't really want to make the sound of a frog now."

So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, "Will you please make a sound like a frog?"

Grandpa again says, "No, not now. I don't really want to do that. I'm in a grumpy mood. Maybe later."

Then the third little boy comes out and says, "Grandpa, oh please...please, please will you make a sound like a frog?"

"Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa asked.

The smallest little boy replied with a hopeful face, "Well, Mom said that when you croak we get to go to Disney World!"

[wtm442]

Real "Personal ads" in the Dublin News:
----------------------------------------------------------
Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and starting fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.

------------------------------ ------------------------
Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime fiancee, seeks
decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced *****es.
------------------------------------------------------
Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and ****ty after a
few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purpose, maybe more.
------------------------------------------------------
Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse
end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely
chest.
------------------------------------------------------
Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
------------------------------------------------------
Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed Supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister.

[cobra de capell]

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
_____

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua.
As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, 'Let's go over to that bar for a drink.'

The lady with the Chihuahua said, 'We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us.'
The one with the Doberman said, 'Just watch, and do as I do.'

They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, 'Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.'

The woman with the Doberman said, 'You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.'
The bouncer said, 'A Doberman?'

The woman said, 'Yes, they're using them now. They're very good.'

The bouncer said, 'OK, come on in.'

The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, 'What the heck,' so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, 'Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.'

The woman said, 'You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.'

The bouncer said, 'A Chihuahua?'

The woman with the Chihuahua said, 'A Chihuahua??? They gave me a freaking Chihuahua?!?!'
_____

Wife: How many women on PMS does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Husband: I don't know. How many?
Wife: Three.
Husband (curious): Oh, how come three?
Wife (on the verge of tears, red-faced and screaming): It just does!
_____

[cobra de capell]

[cobra de capell]

[Wes Tausend]

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin

=====================\

There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm gal.

The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile.

Well the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, the rhythm method. That will work said the counselor if you keep a good record. He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I plan on using birth control pills she said. Again he said, yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them.

He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was, the pail and saucer, method. After a short delay, he again told her that should also work.

He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things were going. They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet.

Well the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She replied that she used the rhythm method, but somehow got her notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby. He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied, the birth control pill but we were camping one weekend and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby.

He turns to the farm gal and told her that I vaguely remember you were going to use the pail and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is. Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you.

She replied, "Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him.
===================\

FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE

1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.

2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

3. Colt: The original point and click interface.

4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.

5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?

6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.

7. "Free" men do not ask permission to bear arms

8. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.

9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.

10. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights reserved.

11. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?

12. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.

13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

14. Guns only have two enemies: rust and politicians.

15. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.

16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.

17. 911 - government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.

18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.

19 Criminals love gun control -- it makes their jobs safer.

20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.

21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.

22. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.

23. Enforce the "gun control laws" we ALREADY have, don't make more.

24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.

25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.

26. "A government of the people, by the people, for the people..."

[VRM]

Remember the ant and the grasshopper?

OLD VERSION . . .

The ant works hard, in the withering heat, all summer long. He builds
his house and stores supplies for the winter,

The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool. He laughs, dances and plays the summer away, preparing nothing for the coming winter.

Winter comes, the ant is safe and warm. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

The moral to the story being:
BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

NEW VERSION . . .

The ant works hard, in the withering heat, all summer long. He builds his house and stores supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool. He laughs, dances and plays the summer away, preparing nothing for the coming winter.

Winter comes, the ant is safe and warm. The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and fed, while others are cold and starving!

CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of shivering grasshoppers, next to a video of an ant in his comfortable home, with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast! How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer this way?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah, with the grasshopper. Everyone cries
when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green".

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house, where
the news stations film the group singing "We Shall Overcome".

Jesse then has the group pray for the grasshopper's sake, and reminds the group to contribute to his group, so that he can "continue the fight" for grasshoppers, everywhere!

Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim, in an interview with Tom Brokaw, that
the ant has gotten rich, off the back of the poor grasshopper!

Both call for an immediate tax hike, to make the ant pay "his fair share"!

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity For Grasshoppers Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire the proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his house is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper, in a defamation suit against the ant. The case is tried in federal court, with a jury comprised of unemployed welfare recipients.

Surprise! The ant loses the case!

The story ends, as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food, while the government house he lives in (which happens to be the ant's old house) crumbles around him, due to lack of maintenance!

The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found, dead,
in a drug-related incident. The house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
gang of spiders, who terrorize this once-peaceful neighborhood.


THE END

[cobra de capell]

This engineer showed up at the pearly gates and, due to a clerical error, was redirected to hell.
A while later one of the angels noticed the error and brought it to G-d's attention. G-d placed a call to Satan. "Hey, Satan, I hear you got one of our engineers down there."

"Yeah, G-d, this is great. The guy's got the place air-conditioned, he's put in a waste disposal system to beat the band, and he's started putting in escalators on all the mountains."

"Well, there's been a mistake. You're going to have to send him up here."

"In your dreams, Big Guy. There's no way I'm letting you have this guy after all the good he's done down here."

"You ignorant little Imp. If you don't send him right up I'll sue you."

"Riiiiiiiiiight. And where are you gonna get a lawyer?"

[wtm442]

Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee season opener sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service agents directly behind them.

One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to Bill.

At first, Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head.

The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was at the unanimous request of the
entire team, from the owner on down to the bat boy. "

Bill hesitates...but begins to change his mind when the agent tells him the
fans would love it!

Bill shrugs his shoulders and says, "Okay, if that's what the people want."

With that, Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her pants, lifts her up, and tosses her right over the wall onto the field.

She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming, "I'll kill you! You *%$%**!!!"

The crowd goes absolutely wild. Fans are jumping up & down, cheering,
hooting & hollering, and high-fiving.

Bill is bowing, smiling and waving to the crowd. He leans over to the agent
and says, "How about that! I would have never believed how much everyone
would enjoy that!"

Noticing his agent has gone totally pale, he asks what is wrong. The agent
replies, "Sir, I said they wanted you to throw out the first "Pitch".

[wtm442]

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The abbot, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked
vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,
"We missed the "R" ! , we missed the "R" !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was...

CELEBRATE!!!"

[cobra de capell]

Redneck AC

[cobra de capell]

40 reasons to get drunk tonight!

1. If you don’t drink that booze, by God, someone else will.

2. The brewing industry alone employs 1.7 million people and that’s a lot of mouths to feed.

3. Bad ass nicknames like “Chuggybear,” “The Alabama Hamma,” “Pukey McPukerson” are not awarded to people who stay home to do laundry.

4. Your favorite bar stool needs just one more sitting to break it in.

5. This is the one and only night your soul mate will wander into the bar. Seriously.

6. Word on the street is the booze has been trash talking you all day.

7. Without your brilliant wit and charm all those poor bartenders will be so dreadfully bored.

8. Dude, after what you did last time, you gotta go back out there and explain yourself.

9. It’s far better to have a good time you won’t remember than a dull one you will.

10. Remember that English high school teacher you and your pals used to call “Mr. McTightass?” You are so starting to remind me of him.

11. You can bet something really important and worthy of celebration happened on this day at sometime or another.

12. How the [censored] can you walk around sober when you’re an insignificant speck in an infinite and uncaring universe?

13. Churchill and FDR got drunk, Hitler didn’t. So what are you, some kind of Nazi?

14. If you don’t you’ll wake up in the morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and who the [censored] wants to go through life acting like a damn squirrel?

15. Your friends can’t have a good time without you.

16. Your friends might have a good time without you.

17. The Man says you shouldn’t and you don’t want to upset the Man, eh slavebot?

18. There is a 1000 percent better chance you will land a starring role in the upcoming Paris Hilton video Vegas Orgy.

19. Your lawn is so much more comfortable when you’re loaded.

20. You’re much less likely to remember doing all that embarrassing stuff.

21. That feisty barmaid might finally, you know, pick up on what you’re laying down.

22. Listen, are we down on this goddamn rock to have a good time or watch other people have a good time on TV?

23. Your girlfriend has rented a bunch of chick flicks you can snuggle to.

24. You’re under a lot of stress and if you don’t get crazy drunk you might do something crazy sober.

25. You gotta figure the odds of getting thrown in the drunk tank twice in one month are practically negligible.

26. If you don’t hunt the booze, the booze will surely hunt you.

27. When you write your memoirs you won’t have to go through the hassle of making up a bunch of decadent adventures.

28. Al-Qaeda forbids drinking and since when did you start taking orders from Al-Qaeda?

29. Let’s face it: modern life is a [censored] storm and booze is the only umbrella without any holes in it.

30. 7-11 nachos with extra cheese substitute and chili only taste good when you can’t remember eating them.

31. You did your damn monkey dance for the Man and now you get your monkey treat.

32. God hates the sight of you.

33. God won’t stop staring at you.

34. Your boss gets all weirded out when you get drunk during the day.

35. Three Stooges episodes you’ve watched a hundred times are suddenly hilarious again.

36. The day will come when you will have to single-handedly face death, and there isn’t a person alive who can tell you what will happen next.

37. Hemingway shot himself after being sober for two months.

38. When your coworkers ask “What did you get up to last night?” you can smile all cool like and say “Maaaaaan, you don’t wanna know,” instead of chirping “I alphabetized my DVD collection and found out I have two copies of The Truth About Cats and Dogs! Two!”

39. Remember your childhood dream of meeting a brewery heiress and jet-setting around the world on her dime? You think that’s going to happen while sitting in your damn apartment watching Captain Picard surrender the Enterprise for the tenth straight episode?

40. It’s so much easier to ring up those old flames and explain exactly where they went wrong. —Frank Kelly Rich
_____

A Chinese couple gets married, and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My daring," he says, "I know dis you fus time and you berry frighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you wan, I do anyting jus anyting you wan, you say. Watchou wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan...numba 69." More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries, "You wan...beef with brocceri?"
_____

man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

"Four dollars an ounce."

"How much for lawyer brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

[dave from mesa]

Cowboys and Indians.........

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge
in Bozeman , Montana , awaiting their flights.

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a
Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third
passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana
State University from the Middle East .

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two
Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the
conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine
table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind
outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping;
but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, At
one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people
were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"


The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and
from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl, "That's 'cause we
ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'

[Ron61]

The Greased Pistol

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who
wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He
practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet
first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man
standing at the bar who -- in his day -- had the reputation of being the
fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the
old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great
ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing,
you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on
your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"Sure will," replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot
the bow tie off the piano player.

"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"

"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

"You bet it will," said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun
in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more
tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that
axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the
barrel of his gun.

"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and
all."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the
piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as
much."

[Ron61]

A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why. She tells her
son,
The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.


The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.


She replies, "The bigger THEY are, the dumber the man is." Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play. Shortly thereafter, the boy returns again, and promptly tells his mother:
"Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks the dumber he gets."

[Duffinatur]

Please forgive me for this...

Q.
What's the difference between CHICKEN and MEAT?



A.
If you beat your CHICKEN, ...it will DIE!!