Jokes

[Ron61]

Should children witness childbirth? Good question.

Here's your answer.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could See while he helped deliver the baby.. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed And pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack him again!'

If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.

[Ron61]

IDIOT SIGHTING :
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the b! uzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer inWichita , KS



IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

[Ron61]

Irish pickup line .......................


Irish Pick-up Line

An Irishman is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch
several times in the space of a few minutes.

The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, 'Is your date running
late?'

'No,' he replies, 'I have this state-of-the-art watch.

I was just testing it.'

The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch?

What's so special about it?'

The Irishman explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'

The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'

The woman giggles and replies,
'Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Irishman smirks, taps his watch and says,
'Bloody thing's running about an hour fast.

Can I buy you a drink? '

[VRM]

A truck driver sees a beautiful girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. "What are you doing?" he says. "I'm trying to commit a suicide," she says. "Well, before you jump give me a blowjob." So, she does. After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! That's a wasted talent you got. Why are you committing a suicide?". "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

[Ibr8k4vetts]

Originally Posted by VRM

A truck driver sees a beautiful girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. "What are you doing?" he says. "I'm trying to commit a suicide," she says. "Well, before you jump give me a blowjob." So, she does. After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! That's a wasted talent you got. Why are you committing a suicide?". "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

You are killing me...