Jokes

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there's an opening in the middle....



An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to live."

"But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great. I haven't felt better in years. This just can't be true. Isn't there anything I can do?"

After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start going down the street to that new health spa and take a mud bath every day."

Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?"

"No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt."

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Never try to outsmart a woman!

A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey, I’ve been invited to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends to go fishing for the long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a three-day weekend. And also, would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic? We’re leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I’ll swing by the house to pick-up my things. Oh! And pack my new navy blue silk pajamas.”

The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

Following the long weekend he returns home a little tired, but otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish.

He says, “Yes! Lots of walleyes, some bass, and a few pike but,” he said, “why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas, like I asked you to do?”

The wife replies, “I did. They’re in your tackle box.”

Never, Never, Never try to outsmart a woman!
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