Jokes

[bliss]

My sex life is like a Ferrari....






I don't have a Ferrari
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It's funny

When my wife gives me the "silent treatment"

She thinks it's punishment.
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If there was a way to read a woman's mind....

I'm not sure I would want to..

I hate shoes, shopping and gossip and I already know I'm annoying.
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MEN have feelings too...

For example.. we feel ... hungry
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I want one of those jobs

where people ask....
you really get paid for doing this...
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Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her underwear drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.
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The advantages of easy origami are two-fold.
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Perks of being over 60

And heading towards 70 or beyond!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- Anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,'Did I wake you?'

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold Your stomach in no matter who walks Into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance Is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.