Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

Ever wonder why A,B,C,D,E and F are used to define Bra sizes?

Well now you do.
A Almost Boobs
B Barely There
C Can Do
D Damn Good
E ENORMOUS
F Fake





A man and his wife were talking and he says, You know, I was thinking
of going down to the bar tonight and entering that big-dick contest.
Oh honey, she exclaims, I don't want you taking that out in public!
But sweet thing, he says, the prize is $100.
I don't care, she says I don't want you showing that thing to
everybody.

So he lets the subject drop until the following night when his wife
walks in on him in the bedroom, counting out a hundred dollars.
Did you go down and enter that big-dick contest last night after I told
you not to?

Please forgive me, sweetheart. He says.
You mean you took that thing out for everybody to see? she says, tears
welling up in her eyes.
The man looks at her fondly and says, Only enough to win.









Coop and Ms Jackson were talking one day when Coop says, "I went to see the
doctor the other day for that pain in my back."

"So what happened?" Ms Jackson asked.

"Well, he ran a bunch of tests, gave me some pills and sent me home. Told me
to stay in bed for a week. He also told me to sit down whenever I had to pee.
Can you imagine that ... A grown man having to sit to pee?"

"Why would he want you to sit to piss?" asked Ms Jackson.

"Well", said Coop , "With my bad back, he doesn't want me picking up anything
too big."






*The Ideal Wife*
The Ideal Wife should be beautiful,
but not so beautiful that people think
you married her only for her beauty.

And The Ideal Wife should be wealthy,
but not so wealthy that people think
you married her only for her money.

And The Ideal Wife should be gentle,
but not so gentle that she can't
suck a tennis ball through a fifty-foot garden hose.









DO YOU??


A woman was shaking out a rug on
the balcony of her 17th floor condominium
when a sudden gust of wind blew her over
the railing.
"Damn, that was stupid," she thought
as she fell. "What a way to die."

As she passed the 14th floor, a man
standing at his railing caught her in
his arms. While she looked at him in
disbelieving gratitude, he asked,
"Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her. As she passed the
12th floor, another man reached out
and caught her.

"Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before
she could stop herself. He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one
more chance. As luck would have it,
she was caught a third time, by a man
on the eighth floor.
"I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.














The Cabbie

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off
his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If
he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of
the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money
from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his
address, etc, but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't
have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to
hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial
success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself,
he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who
had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought
for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a
plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he
asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?!
Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the
same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?"
The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly
past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.











The day I got married was really embarrassing. When the minister said, "If anyone present doesn't agree with
this marriage; speak now or forever hold your peace," I turned around and noticed her family had formed a
double line.