Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

A hot looker walked into a record store and told the clerk, "Do you
have the latest from Nine Inch Nails?"

The clerk ogled her, then said, "What I have is a splendid 8-inch
wanker."

The puzzled girl asked, "Is that a record?"

The clerk proudly returned, "No, but its better than average."
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16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to
hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't
care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the
bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch
break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as
gross.
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Blonde Moments!

One family was visiting another in a different state. The little boy
who was Jewish and the young blonde girl, a Catholic, decided to go
swimming in a near by stream. Not having thier swim suits with them,
they decided to "skinny dip".
After swimming in the nude for a while, they were resting on the bank.
The girl couldn't help but notice the anatomical difference and said,
"Gee, I didn't know there was such a difference between Catholics and
Jews!"
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She was only the...

Janitor's daughter, and she was often swept off her feet.

Jockey's Daughter, But All The Horse Manure.

Junkie's Daughter But Her Crack Was The Best In Town.

Lighthouse Keeper's Daughter, But She Never Went Out At Night.

Magistrates Daughter, But She Knew What To Do On The Bench.

Mason's daughter, but she got laid up and down the block.

Mechanic's daughter, But she was awfully auto-erotic.

Meter-Reader's Daughter But She Liked A Copper In Her Slot.

Milkman's Daughter, But She Was Cream Of The Crop.

Moonshiner's Daughter, But I Love Her Still.

Musician's Daughter, But She Knew All The Bars In Town.
================================================== ===========
A married couple was having dinner and the conversation got around to
transplants and artificial body parts.

"They 'll make an artificial dick next," the wife said.

"Bull****!" replied the husband, "There are something's you can't make
besides, what would you make it from?"

"Iron," she told him.

"Don't be stupid, woman. It'd rust."

"Ok, brass then," she insisted.

"That's bloody ridiculous," scoffed the husband. "Men would never be
able to keep it clean."

"Rubbish!" she told him. "I've watched you polish yours while watching
porno videos for years !"
======================

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have
made up your mind!"The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog,
BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants.
The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all ****ty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."
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A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mothers birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric."

The husband replied, "How about a chair?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ira knew nothing about the wild when he went on his first hunting trip. He walked into a clearing and was surprised to find a young woman lying there in the nude.

"Pardon me," Ira said, "are you game?"

She looked him up and down and seductively said, "Yes."