Joke of the Day...

[CobraDan]

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.
He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title

to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property

dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803.
Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received.
I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory.

Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was approved

[Ron61]

Moe and Joe

Two 90 year old men, Moe and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Moe visits him every day. One day Moe
says, "Joe, we both loved baseball all our lives, and we played minor
league ball together for so many years. Please do me one favor, when you
get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's baseball up
there."

Joe looks up at Moe from his death bed," Moe, you've been my best friend
for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Moe is awakened from a sound sleep
by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "
Moe--Moe."

"Who is it?, asks Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Moe--it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice.

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad
news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Moe.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's baseball in heaven. Better
yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better
than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time
and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all
we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," says Moe. "It's byond my wildest dreams!

So what could possibly be the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."